Angel Whispers

The Rest of the Story

2010-08-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a while since I posted. Life does take over sometimes. But today I opened my blog, reread "Spiders" and realized that I needed to tell the rest of the story...

My "spider bites" were in fact not spider bites at all, but the beginnings of a miserable case of shingles. Perhaps many of you have never heard of shingles and, hopefully, never experienced shingles. Though I was familiar with the name, I really had no understanding of the condition, the causes or symptoms. I learned the hard way.

Shingles is a skin rash caused by the chicken pox virus. After an individual has chickenpox, this virus lives dormant in the nervous system and is never fully cleared from the body. Under certain circumstances, such as immune deficiency, cancer, or emotional stress, the virus reactivates and causes shingles. In most cases of shingles, however, a cause for the reactivation of the virus is never found. Anyone who has ever had chickenpox is at risk for the development of shingles.

Shingles rash starts as small blisters on a red base (so the "spider bites"), with new blisters continuing to form for three to five days. The blisters follow the path of individual nerves in a band-like pattern on an area of skin (mine was around my middle, mostly on my back). Eventually, the blisters pop, and the area starts to ooze. The affected areas will then crust over and heal. The duration of the outbreak may take three to four weeks from start to finish.

But, before the rash is visible, the patient may notice several days of burning pain and sensitive skin. When the characteristic rash is not yet apparent, it may be difficult to determine the cause of the often severe pain. I had done quite a bit of yard work the day before I first felt pain in my back and thought I had perhaps pulled a muscle or something. The pain continued throughout the course of the rash and I even had purple bruising around the rash.

Ben (my family nurse practioner son) confirmed my diagnosis when I sent him a photo of the shingles rash and prescribed an anti-viral medication. But, even with the medication, the shingles ran their course (though it may have been shorter than it would have been without) and the pain continued and eventually, as it healed I guess, the pain became constant itching!

Several weeks later.......I was finally well again. And that is the rest of the story.

Spiders

2010-05-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've always thought that spiders were beautiful, fascinating creatures. I don't want to embrace them as my close friends, of course, or even keep them as pets. But I have, over the years, seen many varieties of spiders, watched them weave their incredibly complicated webs and move from place to place with such speed and grace.

How is it possible to fear a creature portrayed as so intelligent and kind and generous as Charlotte of "Charlotte's Web" fame? She did, after all, save Wilbur time and again from a violent and untimely death! She was a loving mother who carefully prepared and provided for her young. She was loved and lamented when she died.

And what about the super powers made possible by a spider to a man in "Spider man." Super heroes are an accepted part of each child's life and absolutely essential, in their eyes, to the safety of the world! And to think that a spider made it all happen...

Many people I know are afraid of spiders and, I suppose, rightfully so in some cases. Spiders can be really ugly and are often found suddenly in unexpected places, startling even those people not generally freaked out by them. Spiders can be dangerous. Some carry venom poisonous to our human bodies. A bite by some spiders can bring pain and suffering, even disfigurement--not a pleasant thought, for sure.

And that brings me to the reason why I was thinking about spiders today. I woke up with what is obviously a set of spider bites on my back.

EEEWWW! ICKY! ITCHY! OUWEEEE!

While I can admire spiders in theory, the thought that there was one in my bed, crawling over me in the night even under my clothes, does creep me out a bit. Time to shake out the bedding and fumigate the house. Biting me is no way to increase my fascination and admiration for those arachnids in the world. It is a love only to be felt from afar!

HERE'S TO GOOD WOMEN

2010-05-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts from others, combined into one post...

Women have strengths that amaze men.....

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

So, Here's to good women--

May we know them.

May we be them.

May we raise them.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

WHEN YOUR HUT'S ON FIRE

2010-05-04T05:58:00.000-07:00

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger.

He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him!
'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Madison Grace LITTON!

2010-04-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

It's official. Madison is now a Litton, daughter to Brock and Melody "as if she were born to (them)."

So now they have FOUR beautiful children of their own: Braxton, Madison, Jessica and Blake.

Now all they need is employment! Anyone hiring?

National Library Week

2010-04-11T14:58:00.000-07:00

The calendar on my wall labels the week ahead as National Library Week. I never knew there was such a thing. But I support the designation a hundred percent. I think we should celebrate, even honor, the creation of libraries. I can't imagine my life without them.

I remember, as a child, riding my bike (or sometimes walking, though it was a long ways) to the city library. I would take a bag, usually a grocery sack, and fill it up, after spending hours reading front flaps and back covers to choose just the right ones. The trip home was complicated by the lopsided load and occasional sack breaking. But it was worth it. The rest of the day was filled with stories, histories, poems, ideas, plays and adventures found inside that bag full of library books. My favorite place to read was in our back yard, next to the creek in the shade of our many trees. Or, if the weather was bad, I might spread out on my bed or the front room floor. It didn't matter much where I read, only that I read.

I won a set of encyclopedias when I was about ten years old. I remember holding those new books in my hands, enjoying the texture of the cover and admiring the strong binding. I loved the smell and feel of the pages. For a time, it was in those encyclopedias that I searched for the answers to all my homework questions. Eventually, though, they became outdated and it was back to the library for updated information and a broader spectrum of study materials.

A library is a place of wonder, a place of information and imagination, a place of "what for" and "what if" and "why" and "how" and "where" and "when". A library holds a wealth of possibilities. No one home could hold (or possibly afford) the vast number of books, magazines, briefs, maps and other resources that are found in a library.

So take the opportunity this week to visit a library. Use this valuable gift we have been given to expand your mind, to increase your imagination, to entertain a child or answer your questions. And while you are there, thank those wonderful librarians that work tirelessly to catalog and shelve and order, making those vast resources accessible.

Life is Good

2010-04-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

So it's Sunday
and Easter
and General Conference
and the sun in finally shining again.
It doesn't get much better than this!

Two thoughts for today:

"When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!"
(Stuart K. Hine)

"God believes you are worth loving,
even with your sins
....even with your shameful past....
Even if you were the only sinner in the world
....Jesus would have died for you alone!"

I am so blessed. I am so grateful.
Life is good.

CHS PROM NIGHT

2010-03-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a few photos from Mariah's junior prom. Her escort was Derrick Moody, a very nice young man who graduated last year from Cokeville High school.

Beau Petersen and Mariah were the Junior Class Attendants to the prom king and queen.
The promenade was a masquerade. Mariah's mask was awesome.
We had a pre-prom photo shoot at the house, too. Mariah found the perfect dress for her, with a small adjustment made by her Aunt Sandra.
Her gloves and earrings and shoes were just the right touches to complement the dress.
I don't often get to look down at Mariah anymore. But this was a nice angle for a look at the skirt.
Now that is one "POOFY" dress!
It took more than "bibbidi bobbidy boo" to get this Cinderella ready for the ball. But it was a magical evening for our youngest daughter.

"These Two Commandments...."

2010-03-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

" Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." Matthew 22:37-40

I don't know how many times in my life that I've heard or read these words. But today, as I pondered them, I realized that I could base all my plans and choices on these two commandments alone. I could use them in my daily personal evaluation of progress. If I believe Christ, and I do, then I must believe what he has said. And many times He repeated that loving God and loving thy neighbor "as thyself" are the sum of the gospel.

So I've decided to begin each day asking myself three questions: What can I do today to increase my love of God? What can I do today to show love for a "neighbor"? What can I do today to improve myself (so I love myself) ? At the end of the day, I will account to myself on the completion of those goals.

It's simple. It's daily. It's in line with my belief. It's measurable. I like it.

The Creation

2010-03-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

I taught a Relief Society lesson today about The Creation........like the creation of the world and all that is upon it (as well as other "worlds without number", but that part is for another discussion). It was a wonderful, humbling, eye-opening opportunity to first recognize the power of God, then marvel at His wisdom and ability and thoroughness, and finally to gratefully acknowledge that He did it all for me and you.

Have you ever thought about the miracle of life? Not just human life, but all life---grass, shrubs, trees, fish, birds, animals, insects, even the earth itself. Each little detail that allows a species to not only exist, but to adapt and thrive and "fill the measure of it's creation", to reproduce it's own kind and "find joy there in."

I pondered on the way all things on the earth are inter-related, how often one species relies on another to survive. I searched through a plethora of photographs and videos of our world, recognizing the diversity of God's creations and the beauty in each. I delighted in the blessing of living life here in this wonderful place we call home.

I believe that Jesus Christ created the world under the direction of God the Father by the power of the holy priesthood he held. I believe earth was created to open the way for all of us, His children, to have life in physical bodies like His and form families and become like Him. I believe it was created in six periods of time (days, if you will), each in an organized order allowing the next to be possible. And I believe that after creating man and woman, his greatest creation, God rested knowing we could now follow His plan for us.

I am so thankful for life. I am thankful for the earth and all that is in it. I am thankful for a knowledge of God's love for me and recognize it in the world around me.

Take a few minutes to view the video presentation in the link below. Relax and bask in the majesty of this earth that is our home:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHIfRLNYUGw&feature=related

Making Memories

2010-03-07T19:43:00.001-08:00

Over the past few weeks I've had Sarah's boys over regularly to play, giving her a chance to nap and regroup after the birth of her new baby girl. It's been fun.

One day I had just Gavin while Jaxon and Nathan were at school. Gavin is two and a half. He doesn't say much, but has found many other ways to communicate his wants and needs. His latest obsession is to play games with me...dominoes, yahtzee, jenga, etc. So this day, he ran in, shed his boots and coat, stole a candy from the office desk and headed for the game shelf, pointing out the one he wanted.

We play most games with widely modified rules and often abandon the actual game for building forts or towers with the game pieces. Gavin has quite a sense of fair play, always insisting that I take my turn. He is beginning to understand my requirement that one game be put away before another is pulled out.

Anyway, we spent nearly an hour playing a variety of games before opting to read books. This is another favorite at my house. I recently moved the children's books to a lower shelf next to the grankids' toys. Now the kids can more easily see what is there and pick out the ones they want. Gavin chose four or five "Critter" books. He climbed up next to me on the couch and we read them all.

The next thing on his mind was food. Opting for strawberry milk and cheese and crackers, Gavin was contented at the kitchen island for a long time. He likes to put his own flavoring in the milk and stir it up. He also prefers to lick off the squeeze cheese before eating the cracker.

After the snack we played air hockey, cheering every time the puck went into the goal. It never matters whose side. Then it was Gavin's version of billiards, that involves putting all the balls up onto the table and into the holes and watching them come out again.....repeated over and over and over again. It's a very loud game!

All too soon it was time to go home. On went the boots and coat. There was a quiet hand in the candy dish and a big smile flashed my way as he headed out the door.

Our visit was over, but I'm amazed how often the memories of those simple moments together have come to my mind and brought a smile to my face. Childhood doesn't last very long, but those memories will be mine forever.

KEEP SMILING!

2010-03-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

Keep smiling! The luscious plum forgot to--and became a wrinkled prune.

Our Duty to God--In the Home

2010-02-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

(An outline of a talk I gave today at our Ward Conference)

Our Duty to God begins in the home. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" states: Husband and wife have solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Chldren are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens whereer they live. Husbands and wives--mothers and fathers--will be held accountable before God for the sicharge of these obligations.

15 essential elements of successful families:

1--Love: God for us/us for God, husband/wife, parent/child, others, God's creations
Love is a verb. simple daily acts of kindness and respect

2--Leadership: parents united, by persuasion and righteous example, children practice

3--Liberty: agency, accountability, start with small things

4--Learning: divine nature, God's plan, communication, personal relationships, social skills, provident living/homemaking, reading/writing/math
Elder Bednar in Feb Ensign: "learn to love learning"
FHE, family prayer and scripture study, personal study, practice,
example and conversation
learn where to seek learning: prayer, personal revelation, scriptures
"out of the best books", schools and community resources

5--Literacy: reading and writing (aside from spiritual knowledge) most valuable,
home libraries should begin with scriptures, personal journals, family histories

6--Listen: to each other, words of prophets, music, The Spirit

7--Language: spoken and written, avoid foul language, encourage conversation

8--Labor: WORK, daily chores, projects, jobs, "life is work, but rewards are great"

9--Lessons: from daily life, likening the scriptures, dinner table sharing

10--Limits: laws of the land, home rules, standards, discipline and obedience,
No Limits on Dreams

11--Laugh: A LOT! cheerfulness, happiness, "Men are that they might have joy"

12--Leave out: anger, criticism, "the world". "I am safe in my home"

13--Lift: encouragement, enthusiasm, believe in each other, support and help

14--Loyalty: family ties bind us, defend each other, be best friends

15--Live: D & C 42:45 "...live together in love". continue family ties & relationships

Satan is doubling his efforts and so must we.

As we foster Love in our families, Led by united parents, Learning Lessons with our skills in Literacy and Language, Laboring together, Listening to, Laughing with and Loyally Lifting each other, we will Leave Out "the world" and make choices that bring Liberty withing the Limits the Lord has set. With this preparation in our family life, we (parents and children) can go out into the world and "not fear". We will understand our personal worth and divine potential; our confidence will "wax strong." We will have the desire and ability to "go and do as the Lord has commanded," Living to the fullest this wonderful life that our Father in Heaven has given us, fulfilling our duty here on earth, and returning to Him with honor.

Waiting

2010-02-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

We're all experienced at waiting. We wait for dinner to be ready, school to get over, the baby to be born. We wait for getting a drivers license, going on a first date, graduating from high school. We wait to be thinner or older or richer. We wait at the doctor's office or the gas station or the motor vehicle registration office. We wait.

We wait for something that may happen, but might not happen. We wait for things that are good and things that are not so good. We wait for a push or a pull in one direction or another. We wait for an idea or plan, encouragement or warning. We wait to be smarter or stronger. We wait until we have the right job or the kids are grown or we've retired. We wait.

The problem with waiting is that while waiting we go nowhere, help no one, reach for little and accomplish less. We feel no peace or joy. We just wait.

"God is...experienced at waiting. When we're struggling through problems here on earth, trying to cope with the trials that block our way home, He longingly waits for us to turn to Him. He watches our stories unfold and waits for us to acknowledge His plan for our lives." (Barbara Johnson)

One blessing in my life is an understanding of God's plan for me. I know who I am and where I'm going. I have learned to confidently step ahead on the path He has set forth for me. I don't need to wait for the walls in my way to be moved; I seek His help and climb over them. I don't need to wait for courage when I feel fear; I seek His help and conquer the foe. I don't need to wait around for someone to push me along; I seek His strength to increase my own.

Of course, I'm nowhere near perfect and occasionally I find myself waiting when I should be moving along. Sometimes I doubt and question and wait when I should be trusting and believing and moving down the path. But I am learning. I am waiting less and seeking Him more.

I don't want God to wait on me. I find much more joy and peace in running to Him as I try to follow the path that will lead me to an eternal home with Him.

You should try it. Don't wait.

Sienna Mae Weske

2010-02-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Sarah and Jon brought home their new baby yesterday. She is Sienna Mae Weske; born Thursday February 4 2010, 6 lbs 6 oz, 19 inches long. She is beautiful with flawless skin, a head full of very dark hair, and long eyelashes.

She has opened her eyes only once for me and I almost caught it.

She is tiny, petite in every way, perfect.

Sienna is our number 13 grandchild, loved and wanted, sure to be doted upon by all of us. She is a welcome miracle in our wonderful, fast-growing family. Welcome to Earth, Sienna!

The Value of a Smile

2010-01-31T17:21:00.000-08:00

They might not need me;
but they might.
I'll let my head be just in sight.
A smile as small as mine might be
precisely their necessity.
(Emily Dickinson)

I was leading the music today in Relief Society. (I lead the music every week in Relief Society.) Anyway, we were singing a hymn called "We Are All Enlisted." It is an exuberant song full of encouragement and enthusiasm and hope. Over and over it repeats the words "happy are we, happy are we." The song is full of words like "there's a bright crown in store" and "glad to join" and "sing as we go" and "we're joyfully marching." I purposely choose songs like this one each week to lighten the mood and draw attention to the blessing we enjoy of being a part of this great organization and to help us feel the joy the gospel brings into our lives.

But today I looked out over a room full of my dear sisters and realized that few, if any, were smiling. Heads were down. Many didn't sing at first. Several women seemed distracted, even distressed, somewhere else. I doubled my efforts. I tried to look at each sister individually and smile my love to them. I was rewarded with smiles in return. More voices joined in. Faces looked up and countenances brightened.

By the time the song ended, I felt a change in the room. There was unity and a cheerful peace. We were ready to begin, ready to share and ready to learn. While I know there is power in the music itself, today I saw the value of a simple smile. It was precisely my necessity.

JURY DUTY

2010-01-24T17:30:00.000-08:00

Yes. It was my turn this week. I've been called up several times over the years, but never actually served on a jury. This time was different.

The county court is 45 miles away in Kemmerer. My car is in the shop. It was snowing, of course. There were six people called up from Cokeville. So I figured I could catch a ride, and I did. They were looking for a six people jury and I was number 13 (yeah, I know...I should have known). After all the questioning and the attorneys using their challenges, etc., I was the last of the six to be picked, and the only one from Cokeville. A quick scramble resulted in one very generous soul leaving their vehicle for me to drive home later (THANK YOU REBEKAH) and I began an educational day as a member of a jury in a criminal case.

The details of the court are not particularly important and the entire court session was completed by evening that day (we stayed through the dinner hour to finish deliberations so we wouldn't need to come back the next day). But I learned a lot...about Wyoming law, about jury responsibility, about court protocol, about "presumed innocence" and "reasonable doubt", about the limitations of our court system and also it's wonderful possibilities. I gained an appreciation for the tireless service given by police officers, judges, clerks and public defenders. I learned a bit about patience and attention to detail. I made some new friends of those others on the jury. I found a new place for lunch (The Busy Bee) and enjoyed the wares of the local bakery (great snickerdoodles).

Many people took care of business here at home to make my day in court possible. Bill gave me a ride to Kemmerer. BranDee not only cleaned rooms at the motel, but delivered my mail and took care of coordinating our wolf den setting up for the Pinewood Derby. Sarah took my place visiting teaching and then manned the office until that evening and she also directed the derby! Marlene manned the office after Sarah, until Mariah made it home and took over. Rebekah Roberts, bless her heart, donated her vehicle so I could get home.

All in all, it was an exhausting day I will long remember. If you get called to jury duty, just smile and go. We really are blessed to live in this great land and we all need to do our part to make our judicial system work.

Just a side note: I made it home before the derby was over. It was a fun time and our track survived again to be used another day. I'm getting pretty efficient at setting it up and taking it down, too.

Finding Joy

2010-01-17T16:02:00.000-08:00

I bought myself a new daily thought calendar for the year. It is by Barbara Johnson and contains thoughts from her book "I Don't Suffer From Insanity...I Enjoy Every Minute of it." I knew it was the right one for me when I read the thought on January 1st: "Deliberately choose to look for joy in every step of your journey through life and to share it with others. When you do, you will be blessed with happiness no matter what your circumstances are." So I decided to use her upbeat ideas to inspire and motivate me throughout the coming year.

Yesterday this first thought proved to be very applicable. Mariah and I spent Friday afternoon searching for a prom dress in Utah County and then the night at Sandy's place visiting and sleeping on their couches. It was delightful. The next morning we shared breakfast with Jason, Aubrey, Mikayla and Mom and then went to the movies in an actual theater (as opposed to the usual ones where your feet stick to the floor and the seat is broken). This was also delightful.

As we left the theater, we got word that Sarah was again having early labor pains and was driving to Evanston Hospital. So we headed for home. All went smoothly until we were just out of the canyons about ten miles out of Evanston. We heard a noise; the temperature gauge dropped and the light came on; steam began streaming out of the hood. We immediately pulled over to assess the damage and determine our course.

Now here's where the "looking for joy in every step" part comes into play!

We were joyful that we were at an exit where we could get off the freeway. We were REALLY joyful that we actually had cell service (in this place that there is NEVER cell service). We rejoiced that we have AAA and they were able to send a tow truck. We found joy in all the people who stopped to offer assistance (one car staying a long time, just to make sure that we were not without help). We enjoyed the pleasant, efficient tow truck driver who came to our aid. We were happy that a hungry mechanic was still in his new shop late on a Saturday evening as the car was towed into town. We were especially joyful that Sarah had had some early labor (that they were able to stop again and give the baby time to grow a bit more), so that she and Jon were already in Evanston and able to give us a ride home to Cokeville.

Yes. We found joy in every step of that adventure and today have to smile about how it all happened. Now we just have to remember that advice when the mechanic calls this week with the damage report! But no matter what, I am determined to live that advice and "find joy in every step" of the year ahead.

Christmas

2010-01-10T13:57:00.001-08:00

Christmas is always fun at our house. But it was especially fun to have little ones with us on Christmas this year, even though it took a Herculean effort on Melody's part to travel the distance with three little ones by herself.

Christmas Eve PJ's (Blake was already gone to bed!). We haven't been to bed so early on Christmas Eve before. It was great.

Santa Claus left stacks of presents. Braxton and Blake had to thoroughly enjoy each thing in their stocking before we moved on to the others. Madison preferred the wrappings!

Mariah got a new friend and some tunes for her ipod.

Rock Band and the new seesaw were the biggest hits with the kids. We had a great day visiting with each other and Jason's and Sarah's families. Phones calls between us and the rest of the family topped off the day. Merry Christmas to all.

It's CHRISTmas

2009-12-20T18:15:00.000-08:00

Today is the last Sunday before Christmas. During our church meetings we sang lots of Christmas songs, watched a video of the nativity, partook of the sacrament, listened to talks testifying of Christ, and felt His spirit. It was awesome.

I am reminded of the scripture from the Book of Mormon: " And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins...And now behold, I say unto you...believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul..." (2 Nephi 25:26,29)

I hope to carry the peace and hope and comfort and joy I feel today with me through this season and throughout the coming year. Because I do believe in Christ and I am grateful for a knowledge of His gospel and His plan for me.

May you remember Him and feel His love for you at Christmas time and always.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Diana

2009-12-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

Today is Diana's birthday and so I've been thinking of her all day long.

Diana is my middle child, number four of seven kids and number three of the five girls.

She was born on a snowy winter evening in the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo, UT. I had been to choir practice and came home well into labor. We left the other three children with a sitter and drove through the snow in our old car with bald tires. But we, and she, arrived safely.

Even as a baby, Diana was beautiful. Her skin was flawless and she had long slender fingers and toes. Her little feet were crooked and she had to have them in casts that were changed regularly to move the bones back into their proper alignment. She still carries a small scar from a burn received in removing one of the casts. (But they finished the process free of charge because of that!) She also had clogged tear ducts that a doctor cleared with a very long needle while I held her little head. THAT WAS SCARY.

Diana has always been adventurous. Once, when she was about five years old, Diana got left at home alone....long story.... Anyway, she knocked on the neighbor's door to get help, but no one answered. She proceeded to walk around a mile to the only other place she was sure she could get help--Anna Raun's house. She told Anna that she thought she was supposed to be at Grandma's and so Anna made a call and got her where she belonged. I was completely unaware of what had happened until we were back to pick the kids up several hours later. Well, ever since she's been an independent, resourceful, adaptable person.

Diana likes to try new things. She is creative. She sings well and is a good organizer. Diana is comfortable in almost any situation. She makes friends easily and is loyal afterward. Diana loves cats and has two, Zena and Xavier. Somehow, she became a city girl even after being raised in small towns. Diana is all the kids' favorite aunt.

In March Diana married Travis Thornton in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. He makes her happy. They live and work in the Seattle area.

I am thankful for Diana and so happy she is my daughter and friend. I am looking forward to having her and Travis here at New Year's with the rest of the family. In the meantime, happy birthday Sweetie. I love you.

Deck the Halls

2009-12-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

No boughs of holly here, but plenty of icicle lights and nativities and advent calendars and stockings and Christmas trees and ANGELS.......

Yes. After a complete house cleaning (well, almost complete), I have been decorating for the Christmas season. It's taken me several days, but I have to say that our halls are now totally "decked" and things are looking very festive around here. The house is full of fun things to see and hear and taste and touch and smell.

I love the smell of pine and peppermint and berries from lighting Christmas candles. It makes me want to bake and create and wrap and give. I get a kick out of the grandkids' delight in the battery-operated and wind-up toys that are scattered about. I really enjoy sitting in the darkened room, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and drinking hot chocolate, just looking at the lighted tree. (That sounds pretty good. I might have to go do that and finish this later.) Remembering the story of each angel that I pull from the boxes brings me special joy.

Today the work is done and I am basking in the beauty of it all. I'm working on gifts and looking ahead to another wonderful Christmas.

So, if you haven't yet, start to deck the halls and you will find yourself full of Christmas spirit like me...............go on, do it. It feels real good.

Thanksgiving Again

2009-11-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

It's been just over a year since I began this blog. It has turned into a rewarding outlet for my thoughts and experiences, a new way to share myself with family and friends.

So this Thanksgiving I want to express thanks for modern technology that opens the door to such a variety of communication lines: email and Facebook and blogs and web cams and instant messaging and cell phones with voice and texting. I will always love phone calls and letters as well. I am grateful that we can stay in touch no matter how far apart we are and how seldom we see each other.

Of course nothing replaces actually being together. And so this Thanksgiving I am also thankful for the opportunities I've had this year to be with each of you in your own homes and at important events in your lives. I look forward to any chance we can share time and experiences.

Thanks to all of you for being part of my life.

I have been blessed beyond measure. I am forever grateful to my Father in Heaven for my life and my family and my understanding of his plan. Every day is one of thanksgiving for me.

Life in Logan

2009-11-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

I've been spending the last few days with three of my adorable grandkids: Rachel, Elena and Creed. Ben and Heidi took Cadence with them to visit Melody and Brock in Tennessee and I've been here to hold down the fort. We spent the first two days at their home in Logan and then made a run to Cokeville to see Mariah's high school's production of "Thoroughly Modern Millie" and spend some time hanging out with Jason's and Sarah's families. Today we braved the winter storm to drive back through the canyon to Logan.

Rachel and Elena are both in school all day long, so Creed and I got to read books and color and watch shows and other such fun activities. At our house, he built things out of legos. Creed has lots of energy and, most of the time, a very cheery disposition.

The girls are remarkably self-sufficient, making their own lunches and doing their homework and chores unasked. They both like to read and play with friends. While we were in Cokeville, they made a chain for the days until Christmas. On the drive both ways we listened to "Wicked"; Elena knows almost all the lyrics and especially likes "Popular" and "Defying Gravity".

The only downside to the whole deal has been an ongoing bout with some kind of stomach flu, beginning that first night with Creed, then hitting Elena and I, and now Rachel....no fun for anyone! Luckily it is a brief (though wicked) flu and by tomorrow, I hope, we should all be well before Ben and Heidi get home again.

Taking the opportunity to spend time with the grandchildren this year has been a great way to get to know them really well AND give their parents a chance to get away to their activity of choice without worrying about the little ones left behind. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my children and their children....what a blessing family is in my life.

Good things come to those who wait!

2009-11-15T17:58:00.000-08:00

"Regardless of how much patience we have, we would prefer never to use any of it." (James T. O'Brien) That is me to a "T".

For many months now I have been making meals on the plywood counter tops of my partly remodeled kitchen. While I have been really grateful for the extra shelves Seth built and the greater space on the new counters, the process of clean up has resulted in a variety of painful slivers and a concern for the actual "cleanliness" of the rough surface. It is difficult to get spills out of plywood. And so I admit that I've grumbled a bit.

But this week I have new counter tops. What a change! I can't help but stop and just look every time I come into the kitchen. I find myself running my hand over the counter surfaces, admiring the newness and smoothness of them. It even inspired me to paint the kitchen walls. Seth also installed a new light above the island. It is like a whole new place.

As you can see from the photos below, we still have work to do: the cabinets need a veneer and doors; the table needs to be resurfaced, etc. But for those of you who know the before, you can't help but recognize the remarkable changes already made.

Yes, "patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet." (Jean Jacques Rousseau)
My gratitude abounds....and it's been nearly a week since I got a sliver wiping a kitchen counter.

I Love to Read

2009-11-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

There is really nothing like reading.

I like to read a variety of things--mysteries, dramas, comedies, plays and biographies, fiction or non-fiction, silly or serious, fact or fantasy, poetry and prose, picture books and even encyclopedias. I read food labels and cereal boxes and instruction manuals and prescription information pamphlets. I read magazines and newspapers and letters, blogs and emails and web pages. I read scriptures and self-help books and classroom tutorials and cookbooks.

I am grateful for the ability to read. I thank those who took the time and put forth the effort to teach me this valuable skill. I can't imagine my life without it.

I am grateful for those who write. I thank those who take the time and put forth the effort to put into words their stories, both real and imagined. I can't imagine my life without them.

While television and movies are wonderful and entertaining, I still find that it is in the act of reading a good book that I find my greatest pleasure and most valuable learning.

Curiosity and Hope

2009-11-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

"Greet the world every morning with curiosity and hope." (Fife Robertson)

I love that thought. I think it's great advice.

If we could really do that, our lives would be full of learning and interest and anticipation. We would be positive, cheerful and happy. Of course, others around us would be touched as well. We could change the world one day at a time.

Yes. I love that thought. I think it's great advice.

Speaking Love

2009-10-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

I recently read a book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Very thought-provoking book. I was familiar with his ideas from other sources, but found the book worth reading all the way through. Today I decided to summarize the main points of the book that I jotted down as I read it.

Mr Chapman comments that after the initial "in-love experience" couples must "pursue 'real love' with (their) spouse." "That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth." He then suggests that loving someone requires us to "speak their primary love language." He then identifies five different love languages as described below:

Words of Affirmation
compliments, appreciation, encouragement, forgiveness, requests and not demands
to spouse, about spouse
verbal, written

Quality Time
"togetherness with focused attention"
conversation: uninterrupted, intimate, sympathetic listening, self-revelation, eye contact
activities: create memories, participate in each others interests
1-at least one spouse wants to do it
2-the other spouse is willing to do it
3-you do it to show love

Receiving Gifts
"Gifts are visual symbols of love"
symbol of the thought "I am thinking of you" expressed in action of securing and giving gift
"a gift is something you can hold in your hand" or
gift of self--being there, your presence (your body) becomes gift

Acts of Service
helping, doing things for, "crossing things off the list"
like Jesus washing disciples' feet
"Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love."

Physical Touch
emotional love, "loving touch", hugs, kisses, sex, massage, physical affection
frequent, spontaneous or planned, regular, intimate, familiar
"reach out and touch"

Just like spoken language, we all have a love language--a language that speaks love to us. We must identify our partner's love language and learn how to speak it for them to truly receive and understand the depth of our love for them. Though we may appreciate expressions of love in all five languages, most people have one primary love language. A few are bilingual.

A few parting thoughts from Chapman's book:

"What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage."

"Love is a choice and cannot be coerced."

"People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need."

"Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself."

To love you must "invest time, energy and effort."

"True love always liberates."

Good read. Worth the time.

I've got Seth figured out and will continue to speak his love language so he can understand how much I love him. To love him is a choice I made a long time ago and continue to make every day! He's definitely worth my time, energy and effort!

Breaking Bread

2009-10-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

What is it about eating together that erases uneasiness and creates bonds of friendship?

Today we invited a couple of long-term guests from California in for Sunday dinner. They have stayed with us five years running for almost the whole month of October each year. Don owns some property north of town and his father, Ron, comes along. They both love the outdoors and love to hunt. Some years they have brought along other family members, but this year it's just the two of them.

Ron is a gardener and fisherman at home. He brought us vegetables from his garden and fish he caught in the ocean and bottled himself. He is not the hiker he once was and spends lots of time glassing the hillside and positioning himself for a good shot close to the truck.

Don is more of a mountaineer, younger and more agile. He works hard for his trophies and has also helped others to bag and pack out their animals. Don is a plumber by trade and after dinner today even helped Seth repair a leak in one of our water heaters. (Now he can write off part of his trip expenses, because it was business!?!)

Anyway, as we sat down to eat, there was some awkwardness between us all--two strangers, Sarah and Jon and their boys, Seth and me and Mariah. A quick blessing was offered and then the food was passed around. All "weirdness" evaporated as food disappeared and cups were emptied and refilled. No one felt inclined to leave the table too quickly(except the little ones), and we carried on a lively conversation while Mariah's blondie brownies baked. Then the table was cleared and dessert served and still we sat comfortably sharing the afternoon.

Guests regularly come and go here, often soon forgotten . But those who share a meal or two will
be remembered and welcomed back as friends. It's something magic about breaking bread together, sharing a meal and a Sunday afternoon.

Be Kind.

2009-10-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

A while back I was waiting in a doctor's office and noticed a sign posted at the front desk. It said, "Be kind. You cannot not know what battles are raging around you." I have thought back to that message many times. It is very good advice.

I spent a few days this week with my mother who is recovering from a knee replacement surgery. I thoroughly enjoyed myself in the quiet calm of her home, attending to small things that were beyond her current ability. (Surgery does take quite a toll, doesn't it.) Most of her dizziness and nausea had passed by the time I came and she was settled back in her own home. So, it was mostly a matter of being there "in case". (My sister Jen took the first long shift, dealing with the doctors and hospital and other "hard" stuff.)

Each day a physical therapist came by to teach and help Mom perform exercises that will assist her in stretching and bending and regaining strength in her knee. I was impressed with his manner. He was totally there for Mom, giving her his full attention, listening to her comments and frustrations, yet clear in his directions and persistent in his efforts. He was unfailingly gentle and helpful. He was cheerful and confident in her ability to recover completely. He was kind.

Everyone, like my mother, has battles raging. Some may have injuries or disease. Some may deal with anger or grief. Some may be afraid or lonely. Some are burdened with pain or physical limitations or addictions. Some fight fear or feelings of insecurity or depression. Battles can be short or very, very long. Battles can be big, intense and overwhelming or small, irritating and unsettling. Often the outcome of our battle is unsure, despite our best efforts. Sometimes we can sway the end result with persistence and endurance, patience and prayer. Usually, as we conquer one foe, another moves into play and a new battle begins. This is how we grow and learn and progress.

So I am reminded to be kind. You can never be faulted for that. Recognize that, though you may never know what battle is raging in another's life, kindness can soothe and help and console. A simple kind deed, however small, may sway the course of someone's personal battle, bringing some hope and peace. It costs nothing and the return in so great.

Be kind.

It's Conference Time!

2009-10-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

I love general conference.

Twice a year The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints holds five sessions of what we call general conference. The two hour meetings are held on Saturday and Sunday at the beginning of April and October. While the actual conference takes place in the new conference center in Salt Lake City, Utah, members of the church from around the world participate through live satellite, internet, television and radio broadcasts. The meetings are also recorded and made available later on DVD and printed in the Church magazine, "The Ensign". The president of the church and other prophets, apostles and general leadership of the church speak and the Tabernacle Choir sings and each meeting is begun and ended with prayer. It is an opportunity for a world wide membership to see and hear their leaders, feel the Spirit and unite in a common meeting of worship.

Because we live in an area where all five sessions are available on televison (except the Prieshood session that is available in our meetinghouse via satellite), I like to be part of all the sessions on both Saturday and Sunday. I juggle my work schedule on Saturday to allow me to do something quiet and indoors during the sessions. Mariah often knits or crochets. Seth comes home off the mountain or from the job to be part of it. Those special Sunday mornings of conference are calm and relaxed with no early meetings or assignments before or after the sessions. Sometimes the kids come, with their kids, to watch with us. We eat and visit between sessions.

Through conferences I have learned to recognize the faces of our leaders. I hear their voices and get a feeling for their personalities. I am often touched by their humility, and yet cannot doubt the authority with which they speak. The Holy Ghost testifies to me of the importance of their words.

The main theme of this conference seemed to be love: God's love for us, our love for Him, the need to love each other. We were reminded of the need to ask for God's direction and follow the promptings of the Spirit. The importance of daily scripture study and prayer and family unity were emphasized. We were reminded that God's laws must be obeyed and His promises are sure. He is aware of each of us and ready to help as we seek him.

Because of conference, I feel a determination to be a better person, to try harder, to live better, to share what I have and serve those around me more often. I feel bouyed up and encouraged. I feel peace, even in our uncertain world. I feel an urgency to keep moving forward toward a closer relationship with Jesus Christ and an eventual eternity with my family that I love so much. I am filled with light and truth and hope.

I love general conference. It is another evidence that there is a God in Heaven and He loves me.

Essentials to happiness...

2009-09-27T17:03:00.001-07:00

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." (Joseph Addison)

I guess that explains why I'm happy!

I have lots of things to do--fun things, hard things, mundane things, easy things, new things, old things, spiritual things, entertaining things, relaxing things, stressful things, happy things, sad things, uplifting things, depressing things, anticipated things, dreaded things, necessary things, complex things, simple things, things I like to do and things I don't.

Sometimes I do housework: I wipe, polish, sweep, mop, scrub, pick up, put away, rearrange, throw out, cook, bake, wash, vacuum, dust, launder, fold, iron, hang and organize. Sometimes I do shopping: I search ads, make lists, visit stores or internet sites to buy food, clothes, shoes, furniture, motel supplies, computer ink, paper, gifts, and any number of other items. Sometimes I do educational things: I watch informative television shows, read non fiction, study books and websites, search out health information, practice new skills and help with homework. Sometimes I do spiritual things: I read my scriptures and church magazines and books, pray, ponder, listen to uplifting music, attend meetings, serve in church callings and share the gospel. Sometimes I do physical things: I walk, lift weights, run up and down my stairs, dig and shovel and mow and rake and carry and bend and twist and turn. Sometimes I do service: paint, babysit, give back rubs, call someone, volunteer, send a card, answer questions or take in a meal. Sometimes I do things just for fun: I sing, play the piano, read novels, take a nap, play games, swing with the kids and play on the tramp, check Facebook, write emails and my blog.

I don't ever remember a time in my life when I had nothing to do.

I have many things and people to love. I love my husband, my children, my mom, my sisters, my brothers, my Hopkinson relatives, my Boyer relatives, my Thompson relatives, my friends and neighbors. I love music, books, family gatherings, temple time, long hot showers, lotion on dry skin, painted toe nails, phone calls from family and friends, going to bed early, card games and puzzles. I love to eat: chocolate, cashews, fresh bread, apples, peanut butter, cheese and crackers, mashed potatoes and gravy, waffles with berries and cream, and anything prepared by someone else. I love sunny days, rainy days, snowy days, winter, summer, spring and fall. I love being alive in this beautiful world.

I don't remember a time in my life when I had nothing to love.

I have hope......for myself, my family, my community, my country, the world. I have hope that I can become all that I desire to become. I have hope that my family will stay united in love. I have hope that my community will grow and continue to provide a safe refuge. I have hope that our country can remember it's roots and turn back to God for help in troubled times.
I have hope for peace in the world and help for those in need. I have hope that good will prevail and evil will be conquered. I have hope that life goes on beyond the grave in another sphere filled with light and love.

I don't remember a time in my life that I had no hope.

My life is not perfect, but I have those "three grand essentials" and so I have happiness. I am so blessed.

The Weske Boys

2009-09-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

It was the Weske boys' turn with Grandma this last week. (Sarah and Jon headed out with Seth for an elk hunt in central Utah. Sarah had the tag!) So their sons moved in with Mariah and I at the motel. Things haven't been this lively here since the last family get together. What a blast!

Nathan recently turned eight years old. He was off to school most days and then to cub scouts and watching football games at the high school field. He invited friends over and spent lots of time on the zip line and trampoline. He is currently quite obsessed with karate and was regularly trying out his moves on his brothers. Nathan was always the first one to bed at night and the first one up in the morning.

Jaxon is four and loves using the computer and creating things with legos. He attends a preschool in town two days a week and loves to be outside. Jaxon will eat about anything, but his favorite thing is peanut butter on a spoon!

Gavin is two. He speaks only a few words, but was constantly asking "Mom? Dad?" Once reassured that they were in the mountains with Grampa, he was content. His activities of choice were blowing bubbles, swinging and playing in the sandpile. Several days he napped, but most it was go, go, go until he crashed after dinner!

I have figured out that, to really enjoy a week with the grandkids, I have to block out all unneccessary plans and not expect to accomplish much beyond getting through the day happily. We read books, went for walks, ate Otter Pops and Marshmallow Mateys, watched movies and played outside. We caught bugs and picked dandelions for the dragon. We filled the bath tub regularly and splashed lots of water everywhere. We played with play dough and drew lots of pictures. Every night was a camp out in the great room with blankets and pillows all over the place. Though there were the occasional moments of disaster or disagreement, the whole week was a wonderful chance for all of us get close. I loved it.

An extra added bonus was the fact that Sarah shot an elk in the middle of the day on her 30th birthday after several days of hard hunting. (You'll have to talk to her or Seth to get the details of the whole trip.) Some cowboys were nearby and offered to help get it to the truck and load it up, saving Sarah and Seth hours of work. They dropped the meat to a locker and were home before bedtime Friday evening.

So my time with the Weske boys came to an end and it's back to "normal" life (if you can ever say that things here are normal). There is nothing quite like being a grandmother, is there? This gift I offered to my children has really been a gift to myself. I look forward to Ben's children's turn....maybe in November.

"Fifty Makes You Think"

2009-09-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

"Fifty makes you think. Thirty makes you morose, and forty makes you panic, but fifty makes you think. Half a century, and what is my life? Does it resemble anything I dreamed at sixteen, or expected at twenty or hoped at twenty-five? What am I doing here?...I thought of climbing to the top of a high mountain in Tibet to consult a wise man, but I like vacations where there is indoor plumbing and vegetation....Maybe I'd been missing a great fundamental truth....Well, come to find out, I had been missing something..."

So comments the main character of a great little book I read last week (The Route by Gale Sears). She finds herself searching for "something missing" in her life and, as a result, takes a route delivering lunches to home bound senior citizens each Thursday. The experiences she has along the way help her to find meaning in her life and recognize that, though her life did not turn out like she "dreamed" or "expected" or "hoped", it has been a life worth living.

Now, I didn't mean for this to be a book review. Rather, I wanted to comment on life in my fifties. Don't tell Seth I'm openly telling you I'm in my fifties. He has a thing about age and if I'm 53, well, I guess we know about where he is! Anyway, as I read The Route, I was prompted to ponder on my life and how I feel about where I've been and what I've done and how I've gone about it all. And, just for the record, I have to say I'm perfectly happy in my fifties.

I've never really felt one way or another about my age. Birthdays come and go. Life moves on. Turning 30 or 40 or 50 was not daunting or shattering for me. Age doesn't really have much to do with everyday living of life. We all, from the day we're born to the day we die, have things to learn and things to do and things to avoid and things to conquer and things to share and things to master. We all laugh and cry, succeed and fail, serve and are served. We all feel hope, fear, hunger, cold, anger, relief, curiosity, regret, peace, sorrow, joy, etc. Each stage of our existence is filled with experiences and choices that lead us into the next stage. And time goes by.

Our choices, of course, determine our direction in life. I suppose that it is a look at those choices and where I have "ended up" that have been the biggest part of my pondering over the last week. I've thought back through the years. I've remembered people and places and things that have taught me and helped me and hurt me and changed me. I've laughed and cried a bit. I've found many things I am proud of and a few things to regret. But mostly I have discovered a profound gratitude for each day of my 53 years of life. I wouldn't go back to 20 or 30 or 40 even if I could. I am who I am because of where I've been and how I've lived.

If "fifty makes you think" then think this: Be glad to have those fifty years and be grateful for every day that you get to live this incredible journey we call life. All too often, life is cut short. Hopes and dreams and plans cannot be realized. If you've passed fifty, you are one of the lucky ones.........like me.

Got some visiting to do....

2009-09-06T19:15:00.001-07:00

with my mom, so you'll have to wait for this week's post until I get back home.
BE OF GOOD CHEER!!!

Cokeville Volleyball Tournament

2009-08-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

We have survived another Cokeville High School volleyball tournament. Twelve teams play in the tourney, some going home each night and some camping out at the schools and park and motel. There is really a mob of people around for all day Friday and Saturday.

"Our" girls from Gillette (they've stayed with us all eight years we've owned the place) arrived Thursday night after 8 1/2 hours on the bus and promptly filled the motel rooms and game room and hot tub. Their enthusiasm was catchy. Many of them have been here three years. It was like welcoming family. Fun.

Mariah and the other cheerleaders use the weekend as a fund raiser, filling the concession stand with lots of good food to sell. With the Flying J restaurant closed, it was especially important this year. I went over Thursday afternoon to help make sloppy joes and cinnamon rolls and brownies and rice krispie treats and baked potatoes. They offered lots of other pre-made stuff like pizza, nachos, hot dogs, candy and pop, etc. Because there are only four fall cheerleaders (the others play volleyball), this was quite an undertaking. But they did well, both with the work and with the income.

Seth and I (especially Seth) spent what time we could at the games cheering for both Cokeville and Gillette. Cokeville is the smallest school (BY FAR) and they did really well this year, placing 4th I think. Gillette hung in there for 5th or sixth inspite of several injuries, one quite serious (Seth was there to stand in for the girl's dad, giving assistance where he could and rounding up some crutches). The tournament is set up so that the JV teams play right before each varsity matchup. Their results are not part of the competition, but it gives them a chance to play as a team, too. This is the first tournament of the year for all the schools and the opportunity to be part of it is coveted.

I am continually amazed at how well the girls play, even the youngest. It's WAY different from when I played "back in the day" on junior high/high school/church teams. We just rotated around and tried to keep the ball in the air, with a few attempted spikes! These girls are well trained, serious, skilled athletes. It is really fun to watch.

By 10 pm last night they were all gone again. The concession stand was cleaned and empty. The custodians were finishing up the last tasks and locking up the doors of the school. Motel reservations were already made for next year's event. Seth had waved goodbye to the Gillette girls and retrieved the borrowed crutches. Mariah came home, glad to sit down. Then we all had to smile..........it was so quiet.

Big Day for Nathan

2009-08-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a special day in our family. Our grandson, Nathan Thomas Weske was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. His father, Jon, performed both ordinances. The room was filled with family and friends that love Nathan. Grandpa Seth and Uncle Jason gave talks. His cousins, Rachel and Elena, sang a special song. It was a wonderful meeting.

It's a thing to ponder--a grandchild eight-years-old and ready for baptism. It doesn't seem that long ago that his mother Sarah, pigtailed with teeth missing, was making that same choice. Where have the years gone?

Afterward, we all changed clothes and headed out to the motel play area where we set up the grill and put together a feast in celebration. Everyone pitched in to make it great, bringing food and drinks and hauling tables and chairs. Ben manned the grill, cooking salmon and burgers. Sarah made sure that we topped it all off with pie and brownies! The weather was perfect and the food was awesome. Boyers and Weskes and friends together enjoyed eating and playing and conversing away the afternoon.....definitely a day to remember.

Congratulations Nathan. We are proud of you. Remember those covenants you made today. Continue to try to be like Jesus. It will bring you joy and peace.

Mikayla

2009-08-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

My granddaughter, Mikayla, is spending some time with us this week. Jason and Aubrey have taken advantage of my birthday gift to get away for a few days. We are adjusting to having a toddler in the house.

Mikayla is cute as a bug--only 14 months old and already communicating with noises and hand gestures. She opens her big brown eyes wide and pulls her lips into a round "O", expressing surprise and delight at a variety of events. She loves to have other children around her and is not easily upset by their interaction.

This week we have discovered an allergy (probably penicillin) that has covered her in hives, head to toe. But she remains cheerful and apparently unaware that she is now polka-dotted!

Her favorite activity has been to find, follow, and occasionally "freak-out" the cat. She can even say "kit-cat". It's so cute. He's been remarkably patient about the whole thing and doesn't even run away anymore.

I know it won't be long before Mikayla is grown, a woman with her own child. Time goes so quickly. So, for now, I will enjoy these precious moments with her and delight in the blessing of being a grandma.

(check out cute photos of Mikayla on Jason and Aubrey's site: theboyersblog.blogspot.com)

Life with the Littons

2009-08-09T16:59:00.000-07:00

I've been hanging out with the Litton children this week. Melody and Brock took a much needed vacation and I flew out to stay with the kids--a birthday present for the two of them.

After my first couple days with the whole family, the parents headed out on their adventure and dropped baby Madison off to another home for respite care (Madison is a foster daughter), leaving me with almost-16-year-old Jessica, 4-year-old Braxton and 3-year-old Blake. Though I have Sarah's three boys over on a regular basis, I haven't done much of the full time, sleep-over type babysitting for a while. It took us the first couple days to move into a routine that worked for all of us, but then it was a piece of cake......and really fun......and quite exhausting.

Jessica has been full of excitement and anticipation for her sweet sixteen birthday tomorrow. Every thought is currently tied to that event. She loves to shop. Walmart is her favorite place on earth! She tried in all possible ways to drag me (the confirmed non-shopper) down to the store to buy something--anything. She wanted this and needed that and hoped for this and couldn't live without that. We had a variety of conversations about using your money wisely and not expecting others to spend their money on silly things you want that would mean nothing tomorrow. We ordered her birthday cake, talked about possible activities for the party, looked through all the decorations she's been gathering for weeks, made invitations and invited everyone she knows to come to the party. Getting her to bed tonight will be difficult because she is so excited.

Braxton is currently interested in only two things: Bakugans (the latest transformer type toy) and money (preferably coins). He spends long periods of time spreading out his twelve Bakugans on the floor, opening them up into their "transformed" state and admiring them. He keeps the money he's earned or found in a backpack and will regularly pull the coins out and put them on the floor in front of him, counting each piece. It doesn't yet matter whether it's a penny or a quarter, each is just one. But at any given time he can tell you exactly how many coins he has collected.

Blake is a loving, giving, teddy bear jammed into a wildly energetic body. He loves hugs and kisses and "I love yous". He'll eat and drink about anything, but especially loves Popsicles. He'll share whatever he has, but will not be left out. He wants his turn. He likes to play rough, and hard and fast. But he also enjoys "shows" and stories and songs. He missed baby Madison and regularly asked if I missed her, too. He kept close track of how long it was until his parents would be coming home.

Madison is adorable. She is growing quickly and has left behind most signs of her very premature birth. She has beautiful skin and a charming smile. Her eyes are big and dark brown
and she has the tiniest feet! She loves to be held and in the middle of things. Her favorite spot is cuddled in the sling on Melody's chest. She fits right in to this unique, welcoming, loving family. They all hope it's forever.

So Melody and Brock are back and Madison, too. They had a good time and were ready to come home. We were all glad to see them. We attended church together and shared the rest of the day. Tomorrow will be a big day for Jessica and I'll be here to watch it all happen, helping out where I can.

Then Tuesday I'll fly home. I'm so glad to have come and shared a few days of life with the Littons.

Afternoon on the River

2009-08-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Seth agreed to take some friends rafting on the Snake River last Friday. He suggested I come along this trip and leave Mariah in charge of the motel (a kind of trial run for this week while I'm in Tennessee). We pumped up the rafts and gathered up all the other essentials, like life jackets and oars and buckets and sun screen and food and water. He gassed up the truck and replaced a flat tire. I made breakfast and helped clean motel rooms. Together all those coming along (the two of us, Tom Nielson and his family, Jordan and Andrew) loaded the rafts onto the trailer and piled in the rest, strapping it all down for the trip.

We headed north for nearly two hours and up the hill to the best spot to launch, leaving Tom's van at the bottom and piling everyone in the truck for the last eight miles or so. We unloaded everything by the river and parked the truck and trailer nearby to be retrieved later. Most of those with us were new to river rafting. There was some hesitancy, even fear, in their eyes.

Tom, Carolyn, their three kids and Seth and I climbed into a big silver raft we've owned for years (we purchased two of them already well-used from some Grand Canyon river guides). Seth manned the oars. Jordan and Andrew, young and adventurous, opted for the smaller green raft and took up the two paddles, quickly learning how to make their way out into the current. We pushed off and were on our way.

You couldn't have picked a more beautiful day. It was warm and sunny with a nice breeze as we floated along. A cloud would hide the sun occasionally, giving us some relief from the direct sunlight. The water was COLD, but the heat from the sun evaporated it quickly away from the skin after the inevitable showers in the white water.

There were many others on the river in a variety of rafts, boats and kayaks, too. Some were with guides who run the river several times a week. Others were in smaller groups or families. There was a camaraderie among us all. We had common purposes and motives, common hopes and fears, common enjoyment and relaxation.

At one point we stopped for a picnic on the shoreline. The kids jumped in, enjoying the cold water and then the hot rocks. We headed out again rolling with the current and feeling a "rush" at the rapids.

There was a place with a cliff above a very deep spot in the river that was unofficially designated for jumping in. Several boats stopped and a variety of people climbed up and jumped the 15-30 feet (depending on how high you climbed) into the cold water and swimming to shore. Jordan, Andrew, Jessica and Riley all jumped--twice!

The afternoon passed quickly and even Carolyn left her fears behind and enjoyed the time. The take out spot was too soon in sight. We pulled the boats out and waited for Seth and Tom to drive up and get the truck and trailer. The clouds began to roll in. Just as we finished loading up the now deflated boats and other equipment, it began to rain. We piled into the vehicles and headed for home.

The adventure was over. But the memories will forever be with us of a perfect afternoon on the river.

My Garden

2009-07-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to really enjoy the fruits of my labor in my little garden. I am harvesting spinach, peas, radishes and zucchini. There are blossoms and small green fruits on the tomato and squash plants. The carrots and beets show promise of a fall harvest. The sunflowers are reaching upward along the wall. The flowers have spread out to fill in the empty spaces and are blossoming in a great variety of colors and shapes. My trees (at least the ones in the garden) are growing into REAL trees instead of twigs. There are less weeds and rocks surfacing. I am basking in the beauty of it all.

Isn't it amazing the joy and satisfaction that can come from a little bit of work, a few seeds, some sun and rain, and the good brown soil. I find myself regularly looking out over the garden from the great room just to smile and nod in pleasure. And yet I am still surprised every time I walk into the back yard and find this small magic place that I have created. And magic it is, considering the way I have killed every plant I've ever tried to grow inside!

And so I am including a few photos so you can enjoy it too!

Loss and Grief

2009-07-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading "Out of the Canyon" by Art and Allison Daily. It tells a remarkable story of loss and grief, hope and love. Briefly: Art loses his wife and sons in a freak accident and Allison loses her brother to suicide and her husband to divorce. They assist each other through the grieving process, cultivate a loving relationship, marry and have two sons. All of this is helped along by spiritual experiences involving Art's dead family. Though their experience is unique unto them, their thoughts and feelings, expressed so freely in this book, can be enlightening and inspiring for others as all of us face tragedy and death and loss.

Some thoughts I was drawn to from their book:

"...if an empty space of this dimension suddenly appeared in a forest, I know that nature would fill it with as much lushness and beauty as it could. It's the immutable way of our universe when vacuums occur. The human heart seems a lot like that forest. Shatterings are meant to be mended, holes to be refilled. And I believe that God, who created the extraordinary hearts of all beings, intended that they always be full, and that when they are filled with sorrow, an equal measure of joy must be brought forth in order to restore the essential balance of things. This is the magic of hope, the searing heat and glow of our eternal spirit."

"We must put our love into action, for in loving others, we are loving God himself." (Mother Teresa)

"Grief has no rules."

On Angels
(by Czeslaw Milosz)

day draws near
another one
do what you can

They also suggested two books that "are a must have" for those experiencing great loss. "A Grief Observed" by C.S.Lewis and "Only Spring: On Mourning the Death of My Son" by Gordon Livingston. I haven't had a chance to find them yet, but look forward to seeing what they have to offer.

I'm not, of course, going through any particular grief at this point in my life. I do think, however, that we should be armed with what ever tools we can gather to prepare ourselves for that eventuality. For everyone faces loss, and grief is a universal human experience. When that day comes, may we all find our way "Out of the Canyon" and back into the light of love and joy.

Thinking

2009-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

I like to think.

I like to sit somewhere quiet and let my mind wander, settle on something and ponder. I like to imagine that I'm the first person to think those thoughts, though I know I'm not that original. I like to think about my family, my habits, my work, my world. I like to think about possibilities and probabilities. I like to think about other people, other nations, other places, other lifestyles. I like to think about spiritual things, personal and sacred ideas that motivate me and inspire me. I like to create things in my mind--food, crafts, gardens, quilts, photographs, gadgets, stories, businesses, vacations. I like to plan for weekly jobs to be done, trips to be taken, lessons and assignments to be completed. I like to review the past and take from it lessons to help my today and tomorrow. I like to visualize the future--my trees grown, the house/motel completely finished and business booming, children all settled and grandkids growing, Seth and I in some foreign land teaching the gospel together.

Boyd K Packer once said, "Thoughts are talks we hold within ourselves." It is common knowledge that I like to talk. So I suppose it is natural that I would like to think, have talks with myself.

I believe that if we can't think it, we can't do it. If we can't think it, we can't believe it. If we can't think it, we can't become it. So, I think....and I like to think.

Admiration

2009-07-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Cokeville had a real small town celebration yesterday for Independence Day. It included a breakfast, a patriotic program, an arts and crafts fair, games for the kids, barbecue and fireworks. It was a real fun day (and a lot of work for the organizing committee, I'm sure).

Sandwiched in between all the other activities was the "Little Miss Cokeville" pageant. This involved 15 participants (girls, ages 6-11) who courageously put themselves out there before a fairly large crowd, dressed in their finest and performing their carefully prepared talents. As you can imagine, there were a lot of jitters--emotions do tend to run high in these situations (especially in little girls and some of their mothers). But there, in charge and cheerfully holding things together, was my daughter Sarah. In spite of the inevitable technical difficulties, the pageant came off without a hitch. The hugs the girls gave each other (and Sarah) at the end showed genuine affection and happy satisfaction and little, if any, jealousy or resentment for the winners. Overall, it was a great success.

Yesterday, I saw in Sarah enthusiasm, willing service, organizational skills, real love and concern for each of those little girls, and more patience than Job. She did a terrific job in an assignment that most of us would decline! And she's MY little girl.

It is quite overwhelming to see my children as adults, capably handling their assignments (and lives) with maturity and empathy and wisdom. After helping them through infant and toddler years, elementary school and volatile teenage crises, it is gratifying to recognize that they have become some of my best teachers, good examples and closest friends. Over the years I have often wondered what I did to deserve such great kids. I love and admire them with all my heart....each one.

"To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind." (Theophile Gautier)

Here's to a Happy Marriage!

2009-06-28T17:08:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday Seth and I marked 32 years of marriage. It wasn't until we were both up, dressed, fed, and heading out the door that we realized it was our wedding anniversary. A quick hug and kiss and we were off in separate directions to accomplish the work of the day.

Later, Seth came home early and suggested that I accompany him on a drive up the canyon "for our anniversary". He arranged for Jason and Sarah to cover the motel and we took off in his big truck (as opposed to my little truck). He suggested that while we were up there "we might as well look for my lost back pack." (Look at the post of May 24, "Seth's Spring Adventure" for details on how it was lost.) So we both put on hiking shoes, threw in the chains so we could drive across the still swollen river, sprayed on the bug spray and headed out.

The hour's drive up the Smith's Fork road was beautiful. The recent rains made the area green and the rivers full. It was a delightful trip. We chained up, put the truck in 4-wheel drive and crossed the river, traversed a pretty muddy road, parked the truck and went for a "little walk" along the river. The water was still very muddy and high and rushing fast. We followed a trail to where Seth took his dive and lost the kayak. He showed me where he finally got out of the water and where the boat came to rest down stream in a natural dam of debris. We saw a rope still hanging from a branch where he and Jason had left it when they recovered the boat.

I went up high, looking down on the river for color in the water (the pack had been wrapped in a bright yellow tarp before it was strapped to the kayak). Seth walked along the river searching for any sign. After a bit, Seth saw what appeared to be a strap and managed to carefully maneuver himself closer to take a look. There, well below the surface, not far from where the kayak had lodged, was his pack. HE FOUND IT!! Of course, it had been in the river for a whole month and was filled with muddy water. But, otherwise, it was completely intact with his boots and fishing pole (well, part of the fishing pole) still attached to the outside. The yellow tarp and rope were long gone.

It took every possible effort to pull the pack to the surface of the water and roll it over the branches to the bank. Seth unstrapped the pole and boots, rinsed out the boots and emptied them of all the water and most of the mud. I carried them up the hill to the trail. Everything inside had to be wrung out before the pack could be lifted to his back. We hiked back to the truck, still marveling at our little miracle. We found it! The drive back home was jubilant after such a remarkable conclusion to our search.

(Just a note in case you're curious. Much of the content of the pack is still usable. The stove, knives, clothes and pack itself are good as new now that they are clean. We even have hope for the binoculars and video camera. The camera and cell phone are total losses. But Seth came home alive and what was lost is found.)

Two years ago Seth and I went to Hawaii to celebrate our anniversary--the trip of a lifetime. Last year we had dinner at the Flying J down the street. This year we "went for a drive" and ate cold cereal when we got home. It may sound to some people like things are headed down hill in the romance department. In actuality, it's quite the opposite. We honeymooned in the mountains and have happily celebrated several anniversaries backpacking in the same high Wind Rivers, enjoying the beautiful quiet and solitude. The giddy high that we enjoyed together this year, upon unexpectedly finding what was lost, was remarkably similar to those early days of our marriage. This anniversary will still be remembered and discussed thirty years from now when we celebrate 62 years!

So here's to happy marriage. We are so blessed to have each other.

Today is Father's Day.

2009-06-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

Traditionally on Father's Day we tend to think of our own fathers and, of course, I do with fond appreciation. But this Father's Day I wanted to comment on the fathers that are also my sons.

My oldest son, Ben, has four children (3 daughters and one son). Recently I spent a few minutes with his family as they dropped him at Grandma Sally's before the rest of them headed to Nana's for the night. It was brief, only a few minutes really, but in those few minutes I saw the father he has become. He cheerfully greeted Mom and I, shuttled the girls to the bathroom, calmed the baby with a binky, settled on the schedule for the next day with Heidi, redirected two year old Creed from something off limits, reloaded everyone into the car and waved them off, still smiling when he came back inside. Not more than five minutes later, their van pulled back up to the house because someone did not get a chance to say goodbye. He lovingly complied with hugs and kisses all around. While we headed off to bed (and in spite of the fact that he had few hours ahead for sleep), he waited patiently for them to call and report their safe arrival before he slept.

"A good father is a little bit of a mother." (Lee Salk)

Jason has a daughter just turned one year old. Both he and Aubrey dote on Mikayla shamelessly. Like Ben, Jason takes his turn at diaper duty, feeding, clothing, etc. and he enjoys "daddy duty". Through it all, though, it is his obvious affection for his wife that stands out. Together they will live and love and parent their children.

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." (Theodore Hesburgh)

Jon and Brock, our sons-in-law, have their own styles of fathering. Jon spends lots of time with his boys, playing and working and riding bikes and going places. Brock wrestles and boxes with his boys, listens well to his teenage daughter, and welcomes a new foster daughter with open arms (even though he said he was "done with babies").
They've both taken fatherhood in stride and are helping their children learn life's lessons.

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." (George Herbert)

I am thankful today for all the fathers in my life, for my father and my father in law, for Seth--the father of my children, and for these wonderful fathers who are also my sons. I am especially grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who gave us families and opportunity to learn together to be more like him.

One last thought:

"What a father says to his children is not heard by the world; but it will be heard by posterity." (Jean Paul Richter)

Food, Glorious Food

2009-06-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to the smell of a roast cooking in the crock pot. It filled the house with a delicious invitation to get up the enjoy the day.

There is nothing quite like food--the smells and tastes and textures, the comfortable feeling of having enough, the renewed energy, the shared experience of eating together. Luciano Pavarotti said, "One of the nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating." I agree.

"Whatever will satisfy hunger is good food," says a Chinese proverb. I agree with that, too. It can be something as simple as a few strawberries or carrots. It can be a bowl of oats with a bit of honey. It can be warm, fresh bread right from the oven. It can be a spoonful of peanut butter or a crispy apple or peas picked and eaten right in the garden. It doesn't take much.

Occasionally it is nice to create a meal of more diverse options. Family gatherings often call for a little more thought and preparation. Together we gather, mix and make favorites sure to please every palate. It can be sensory delight and tasty comfort. Days, even years, later we recall the feelings from such a meal when we taste or smell the food eaten then.

Many are "salty" or "sweet" or "spicy" fans. Some don't do fish or "green things" or red meat or squash or sushi or sugar. Some only do whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables. Some only do things proportioned and packaged and easily available on the go...."some like it hot and some like it cold."

Now, personally, I'll eat almost anything. In a world where so many go without, it's almost a crime not to. Leftovers will store for another day. Several things can be combined to make something new. Remember "waste not, want not." While I enjoy a feast as much as the next person, I don't require much to be happy.

Mark Twain said, "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." Gene Brown commented, "As with liberty, the price of leanness is eternal vigilance." While these may both speak truth, I prefer to dwell on Thomas Jefferson's idea, "We never repent of having eaten too little." And I always hold to the wisdom of Miss Piggy, "Never eat more than you can lift!"

Mariah's Summer Ahead

2009-06-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

Today I will drive across the great state of Wyoming to take Mariah to Univerity of Wyoming's High School Summer Institute in Laramie....five hours over and five hours back! While I have really enjoyed living in Wyoming and find MANY beautiful places here, I-80, across the sage brush of the south end of the state, is not one of them. At least I will have good company on the way over and some great tunes on the way back.

This is a summer of new experiences for Mariah. She turned 16 in May. Her first week as a licensed driver involved daily trips to Montpelier, Idaho (60 miles round trip) for EFY (Especially for Youth, a BYU regional program for teenagers). Because of a variety of other conflicts, Mariah was the only Cokeville teen to attend the conference, so there was no one to help car pool. She got along great, even figuring out an optional route one night when an accident blocked the road and taking care of some grocery shopping for me. Seth was a little concerned about all the driving, but I knew she would manage well (having done 99% of her learners driving with her).

The next three weeks she'll be in Laramie for HSI. This is an opportunity to get a feel for college life, meet students from all over the state, visit lots of Wyoming places, and try out some interesting humanities and science classes. Again, Mariah is the only Cokeville student attending. But it promises to be a grand adventure. She'll make new friends, expand her mind, see new things and, perhaps, miss home a bit. I know we'll be missing her.

Then comes girls camp in the Idaho mountains, cheer camp in Ogden, a trip to Tennessee, and back home again for Pioneer Day. Somewhere before school starts again we will fit in trips to the dentist and school shopping, some motel housekeeping, family reunions, and time to kick back at home.

I can't help but think of those days, not so long ago, when Mariah spent her summers lounging in the tree with a book or wading in the creek or arranging movie parties in the afternoons or walking to the store for a treat and the library for more books, sleeping late, singing silly songs, and somehow avoiding many chores. Her long blond hair is now dark, with carefully added highlights. Her voice and shape are now a woman's. She has matured into an interesting, capable, helpful, adventurous person.

I'm glad she can have this summer's experiences. But Seth and I will both miss her. We're not "empty nesters" yet, but this will be a small taste of things to come.

Go out there and have a blast, Mariah. We love you.

Note: I just got back and I owe Wyoming an apology. That drive across 1-80 was absolutely beautiful today! Everything is so green. There is so much open space with high plains, hills, valleys and mountains, grass and sage brush, rivers and wild game. There wasn't much in the way of traffic and very little road construction. It was a long drive, but perfectly delightful after all.

Sunday Morning

2009-05-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 6:08 am, just like every other morning. But today, unlike most mornings, I rolled over and closed my eyes again. I snuggled down into my quilt and drifted back into an unfinished dream. Then I slowly became aware of sounds: a train, the fridge motor, the cat dashing down the stairs, traffic on the highway, a bird, Seth rolling over. I slowly opened my eyes to sunlight filtering through the blinds and no evidence of wind blowing. No need to hurry. It is Sunday morning and the world can wait.

It's nearly seven before I get out of bed. Seth is showing no sign of getting up. Mariah is sleeping, and will be for quite a while. There are no engines running in the parking lot, no motel guests ringing the bell or phone. The house is quiet and still. No early meetings today and church isn't until ten. The yard work is done until tomorrow. The laundry will wait for another few days. Sunday is different, a needed change after six very busy days.

I wake up slowly in a long hot shower. I let the water run over me, enjoying the luxury. Extra time in the bathroom is one of the advantages of the kids growing up and leaving home. I lotion up my legs and dry hands and cracked heels. Then I head to the kitchen for something warm and delicious, my favorite breakfast of hot cereal and fruit.

I empty the dishwasher, put in my bowl and spoon, and clear away Saturday's clutter from the counters. Dinner today will be easy with corn on the cob, salad, and grilled salmon, already marinating in the fridge. Sarah is doing some kind of bread. Seth is up and has already taken out the garbage and watered my hanging baskets. I feel loved. I take a few minutes to catch up on my email and look over the schedule for the week ahead. Mariah emerges from her room, towel in hand and hair rumpled. A brief "hey" and she's in the shower.

On Sunday mornings I tend to look at my life, examine my faith, count my blessings and find ways to strengthen relationships. Today I love my life, am secure in my faith, overwhelmed by my many blessings, and grateful for my many friends and family. I look forward to my morning church meetings with their renewal of covenants and new insights, a loud family dinner with the Weskes, the afternoon to rest and re-energize, perhaps a game or a movie with Mariah and Seth, phone calls and emails to my loved ones, and time to organize my efforts for the week ahead.

Sunday is a gift, a blessing, a day for family and faith and rest. I'm so glad it is Sunday morning.

Seth's Spring Adventure

2009-05-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like falling leaves." (John Muir)

Seth recently finished a big block job and decided it was time to get out of "this false life" into the "reality" of the mountains. So last Monday afternoon he packed up his gear and headed to the hills. His plan was to drive as far as he could toward Lake Alice, stopping when the snow and mud made passage impossible, and then hiking up and over whatever it took to reach the lake. He left a kayak by the lake last fall and thought he'd see if it was still tied to the tree there and, perhaps, bring it out. He purchased a bear tag "just in case" and a fishing license "if the ice is off the lake". He filled his water jugs and gathered some easy-prep food and a fry pan (and real butter, of course) "for the fish". He headed out the door, turned back long enough for a quick kiss and "don't worry unless I'm not back by Saturday afternoon", and he was off.

A little more than three days later, Seth came home. He had a bleeding gash on his ear and he was still wearing his fishing waders. He was not carrying his pack into the house, had no fish on a string, and was not showing off any photos. There was no coat or rifle in sight. But, because I was occupied carrying groceries into the house, it was quite a while later before I realized that these clues were telling me more than Seth was!

To get all the details of this adventure you'll have to hear the complete version from Seth himself. However, the short version, from what I've been able to figure, goes something like this:

He drove to a spot where the river crosses the road, left the truck there, waded the river and hiked over the mountain to the lake. He saw lots of deer, elk and even a cinnamon colored black bear. For a couple days he enjoyed the quiet and the solitude, even the strenuous exercise. This was just the change of pace he had hoped for. The lake was still covered with ice. The kayak was still where he left it in the fall.

He decided to bring the kayak out, dragging it over the snow. At one point he left his sleeping bag and gun by the trail, planning to retrieve it in a couple weeks when the road opened up, and decided to ride the kayak out on the river. He loaded his pack and self onto the kayak and headed out. Wild ride. Great adventure. However, it ended in a bit of disaster. The boat flipped on a waterfall, throwing and sinking Seth in the cold, fast moving spring runoff water. He was in a "washing machine" for a time, lost his paddle but grabbed a branch as the boat drifted by. The powerful river pinned him against the tree, but his head was above water and he watched helplessly as the boat drifted down the river. His waders became filled with water, making it difficult to pull himself out. But, luckily, his squirrel-chewed life jacket held his head above water. The kayak became trapped upside down by a natural damn of collected debris, the pack still strapped to it. Thankfully, he was eventually able to get himself out of the water, but could not retrieve the kayak without some help. He hiked to the truck and came home.

Jason went up with Seth the next morning. They hiked until they found the kayak (it had moved several hundred feet down river) and together were able to hook it and pull it to shore. The pack, though, was nowhere to be seen, the straps holding it had ripped away. A thorough search of the area produced nothing. They gave it up.

I won't even tell you what was in the the backpack. It could give you a stomach ache. Suffice it to say, that little blue kayak is now worth a lot more than it used to be! Truth be told, it doesn't really matter. It was just stuff. But if any of you along the Smith's Fork come across a light gray backpack, full of very wet equipment and a once great pair of hiking boots, you'll know it belongs to Seth.

The important thing is that Seth came home, scraped and scratched and cold, but in one piece--alive. He is none the worse for the wear and tear. He is already planning his next adventure......what a guy!

"A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for a king." (Emily Dickenson)

PLANTING

2009-05-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks I have been planting trees, tiny saplings no taller than three feet. Some are destined to become tall bushy shade trees. Some are evergreens. I've found joy in the process, though it has not been an easy task.

The soil in Wyoming is dry and rock-filled, some clay. The digging is difficult, requiring not only a shovel but a pick. My hands have developed blisters beneath calluses. Watering of the newly planted trees is a long process. Hoses must be carried to close proximity. Often ice still fills the hoses in the early part of the day. Care must be taken to fill the wells without damaging the tender roots just below the surface. The wind is already trying to bend over the frail trunks. I suppose there are reasons for so few trees in my desert home.

Planting requires a certain amount of faith, hope in nature's certainty. Natural laws say that what you plant will grow, if provided with what it needs. The very act of putting a seed in the ground, is an expression of belief in it's ability to flourish. A sunflower seed will produce sunflowers. An acorn will produce an oak tree. A tomato seed will produce a plant full of round, red, edible tomatoes. A zucchini seed will produce enough squash to feed the neighborhood! Our part is to dig and plant and water and fertilize and save the plant from weeds. We look to the sun and earth and the seed itself to do the rest. Each growing thing is its own miracle really.

Planting is worth the effort, even recognizing that as many as 60% of my little trees may not survive the brutal elements of our climate. My careful choice of species and constant vigilance may not be enough to help some of them "fill the measure of their creation". But I have hope that twenty years from now, on any given summer afternoon, you will find me sitting beneath one of my trees sipping lemonade and reading a good book. And so I plant.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

2009-05-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

To all you wonderful women out there--

mothers,
daughters,
sisters,
grandmothers,
aunts,
friends,
neighbors

What would the world be without women?

Have a great day!

WICKED

2009-05-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

This week I had the opportunity to attend the theatre to see the musical production "Wicked", thanks to a Christmas gift from Ben and Heidi. The whole experience was wonderful--comfortable seats, good view, great company, fantastic performance. I won't ruin the story for those of you who have not yet had the chance to see the play. Suffice it to say, it is the story of the witches of "The Wizard of Oz". It cleverly links all the familiar characters, revealing their history and more detail into their true character. The music, of course, was the highlight for me and the sound system brought you right down to stage level (even though I was sitting on the mezzanine). The energy of the performers was incredible and the nearly three hour production moved along very quickly, entertaining to the very end. Over all, the evening was fabulous. Even the late night drive home was pleasant as I relived it all in my mind.

I've always loved live stage productions. Since I was small they have been part of my world. Mom was involved in music and theatre as a performer. That's even how she found Dad, who took care of the production and promotion side. As much as I like movies, I will always enjoy attending live productions. (Just a little note about that: during one scene in "Wicked" a prop was thrown into the air and instead of coming down as planned, it landed on top of some scenery causing a brief break in character and lots of laughter from the audience.) You never know what is going to happen. It is real every time.

A few thoughts from the musical:

"Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap..." (Elphaba)

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you." (Glinda)

So whenever you get the chance, whether it is a small local show or a Broadway production, attend some live theatre. It's always worth your time and will entertain in a way you will find no where else. The only thing better is to be performing!

WHAT IS IT ABOUT MUSIC?

2009-04-26T08:31:00.001-07:00

I was in a church meeting today that included a performance by a small choir. They were few in numbers, a variety of ages, a rag-tag type group, typical of most ward choirs. I wasn't impressed by their appearance and didn't expect much. But when they began to sing, my heart was transformed. They sang a simple arrangement of a familiar hymn with pure, perfect harmony. Suddenly I felt like I was in heaven, safe and comfortable, loved. There was a spirit of peace, a reminder that God is aware of all. I felt a yearning for the music to go on, for life's challenges to remain at bay for just one more moment.

What is it about music that touches our very soul? How can a simple melody flood our hearts and minds with peace and hope and joy?

Earlier in the week, I spent an evening with my grandson, Jaxon. We blew bubbles and shared a sandwich. We played with Legos and action figures. When it was time to go home, we took a few minutes to clean up the toys. He was hesitant to help at first, but then he started singing, "Clean up. Clean up. Everybody do your part..." and off he went to finish the job.

What is it about music that motivates us and makes our work seem easier?

Last night Seth and I watched a movie together. Music set the tone of the movie even before any picture took shape. We had a good idea what type of story would unfold before a word was spoken.

What is it about music that arouses our senses and brings our emotions to the surface?

A few weeks ago I turned on the radio and heard "La Traviata". Memories of days long past flooded my mind: thoughts of Mom and her stage performances, coming home to find Dad sleeping in the middle of the floor with classical tunes blaring, back yard plays and nights at BYU dance productions. I left it turned to classical music all afternoon and reveled in the memories.

What is it about music that opens our minds and awakens our memories?

I love music. I can't imagine life without it. I'm so grateful that it has been such a big part of my life.

"Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing. Thanks for all the joy their bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in honesty. What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music...for giving it to me...." (ABBA)

ANGER

2009-04-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, my nephew Jeff filled his blog with thoughts on anger. It's been on my mind ever since. I've noticed anger in social situations, at the gas station, on the road, at the school and the post office, and a few times in myself. I've seen it put up walls between friends, siblings, parents and children, teachers and students, coaches and teammates.

I've remembered times in my life when I let anger take over and the results--sadness, shame, ruined relationships, sometimes even horror at the magnitude of it's power. I have looked inward, searching myself for any remaining justifications or explanations to ever allow anger to determine my actions. Luckily, I don't often deal with anger in my home. We are usually easy-going and calm. I have come to recognize anger sometimes as an expression of other feelings--bitterness, grief, hurt, especially fear. Like most things, I find it easier to forgive anger in others before myself. I don't want anger in my life. As an imperfect human, though, I sometimes allow it in, however unwanted.

Others' thoughts on anger that have struck a chord with me recently:

Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It's real, though, the fury. Even when it isn't, it can change you, turn you, mold you and shape you into someone you're not. The only upside to anger is the person you become...hopefully someone who wakes up someday and realizes they're not afraid of it's journey. Someone who knows that the truth at it's best is a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits and in it's wake leaves a new chance at acceptance and the promise of calm. (The Upside of Anger)

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. (Chinese proverb)

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order. (Maggie Scarf)

Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind. (Robert G. Ingersoll)

Thanks to Jeff for bringing up the subject and leading me to some introspection. Everyone will sometimes feel anger. Learning to control anger is part of becoming our best self. I will continue to work on that.

Easter Sunday

2009-04-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter Sunday. The morning is quiet, peaceful, full of introspection and gratitude.

I ponder on the the first Easter, the day Christ rose from the grave and appeared to those who loved him, alive again. The joy they must have felt. I think of the journey that took him from his manger birth to his death on a cross at Calvary. He lived to do his father's will. He showed love to everyone. He performed miracles. He blessed old and young, rich and poor, strong and weak. He was patient, kind, wise...perfect. His atonement allows the rest of us to have hope in resurrection and exaltation.

I know he lives. He is my brother, my friend, my example, my savior. It is by him and through him that all mankind can be saved. I am so grateful for this knowledge and the Spirit that confirms it to me.

So, today will be filled with joy. It's Easter and I know he lives.

We Need Each Other

2009-04-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

In my travels last week I read a book called "Here if you Need Me" by Kate Braestrup. The author went to ministry school after the death of her husband and became a chaplain for a team of search and rescue workers. She relates experiences and some thoughts and ideas from her work and life. Some of my favorite quotes:

"At other times...all the specifics that separated me from Annie--age, race, class, state of health, who needed care and who provided it--would fall away, and we would just be there alive together. And that would be a moment vibrating, in some sweet and startling way, with all the electric potential of love."

"Mrs. Levesque (who's husband was just found dead in the water) will put me to use as a witness, as crutch, as Kleenex, as proxy for Jean-Pierre--a temporary substitute for all the neighbors, church folk, friends, and family members who will soon come bursting through her door to share her grief. I am a transitional love object, an objet d'amour...What a strange privilege it is to be so used."

"Sometimes I think I live and work in a parallel universe. That is, I know that I live in a crass and boorish culture, a culture of shock jocks and road rage, "reality" television and thong underwear, corruption and consumerism, mean porn and meaner theology. I know all this. And still, the world I move through is rich and beautiful, and the people I work with...are decent, discerning and good."

Don...has that enviable quality I see in some... It's as if, no matter what the circumstances--even staggering around in wet woods looking for a corpse--he is always centered and joyful, with well-being at his core."

"But then, a grateful heart beats in a world of miracles. If I could only speak one prayer for you, my children, it would be that your hearts would not only beat but grow ever greater in gratitude, that your lives, however long they prove to be and no matter how they end, continue to bring you miracles in abundance."

"Hell is when you die, and no one cares."

Good thoughts. Thoughts that promote more thoughts. And, while I don't agree with much of her theology, I was impressed with her love and compassion and faith in humanity. We really do need each other and, though I will never be an ordained minister or a chaplain of any sort, I intend to be more aware of others around me. I want to "be there alive together" and feel that "electric potential of love" and have a life filled with "miracles in abundance."

Happily Ever After

2009-03-30T15:34:00.001-07:00

My daughter Diana married her sweetheart, Travis Thornton, last week. What a wonderful occasion. We are so happy for both of them. We traveled to Salt Lake City and then Seattle to attend, and assist where we could, the temple ceremony and two receptions. The happy couple are now honeymooning in Jamaica--lucky them. I wish them lots of quiet rest, sunshine, romance, adventure and happiness.

So today I offer some quotes appropriate for the occasion:

"Living happily ever after is not the end of a fairy tale. It is the common purpose that all life seeks." (Bob Mandel)

"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." (Joseph Barth)

"A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers." (Ruth Bell Graham)

"Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever." (Leo Buscaglia)

"No cord or cable can draw so forcibly or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread." (Robert Burton)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." (Mignon McLaughlin)

I hope Diana and Travis, and all the rest of us, can live "happily ever after" as we "get on with living and loving."

MAYBE SO, MAYBE NOT

2009-03-22T16:47:00.001-07:00

There once was a village that had among its people a very wise old man. The villagers trusted this man to provide them answers to their questions and concerns.
One day, a farmer from the village went to the wise man and said in a frantic tone, "Wise man, help me. A horrible thing has happened. My ox has died and I have no animal to help me plow my field? Isn't this the worst thing that could have possibly happened?" The wise old man replied, "Maybe so, maybe not." The man hurried back to the village and reported to his neighbors that the wise man had gone mad. Surely this was the worst thing that could have happened. Why couldn't he see this?
The very next day, however, a strong, young horse was seen near the man's farm. Because the man had no ox to rely on, he had the idea to catch the horse to replace his ox--and he did. How joyful the farmer was. Plowing the field had never been easier. He went back to the wise man to apologize. "You were right, wise man. Losing my ox wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. It was a blessing in disguise! I never would have captured my new horse had that not happened." The wise man replied once again, "Maybe so, maybe not." Not again, thought the farmer. Surely the wise man had gone mad now.
But, once again, the farmer did not know what was to happen. A few days later the farmer's son was riding the horse and was thrown off. He broke his leg and would not be able to help with the crop. Oh no, thought the man. Now we will starve to death. Once again, the farmer went to the wise man. This time he said, "How did you know that capturing my horse was not a good thing? You were right again. My son is injured and won't be able to help with the crop. This time I'm sure that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. You must agree this time." But, just as he had done before, the wise man calmly looked at the farmer and in a compassionate tone replied once again, "Maybe so, maybe not." Enraged that the wise man could be so ignorant, the farmer stormed back to the village.
The next day troops arrived to take every able-bodied man to the war that had just broken out. The farmer's son was the only young man in the village who didn't have to go. He would live, while the others would surely die. (as told by Richard Carlson)

We don't always know what is going to happen, even when it appears obvious or inevitable. We cannot always determine whether it is the best or the worst thing that could happen. We need to be patient and let life take it's course. We need to be like the wise man--patient and slow to judge. Remember "Maybe so, maybe not."

What do you think?

Don't worry, Be happy.

2009-03-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

Last week my grandson, Gavin, broke his leg while playing in his bedroom. No one knows for sure exactly how it came about. But it was apparent immediately that this was not one of those "Jump up. You're OK." moments. At the emergency room, the x-rays showed a fracture just below the tibia. The leg was put in a splint and carefully wrapped with lots of padding. He was sent home with strict instructions to keep him off his foot completely for the next three days after which it could be cast. His bewildered parents drove home wondering how to possibly keep a child of 20 months from putting weight on his foot.

The next few days for Gavin were filled with child-size doses of pain killers, miserable nights trying to get comfortable, no appetite and upset tummy, frustration at the restriction in activities, and, unfortunately, the onset of a cold. Of course the frustration was not his alone. Sarah and Jon had to get creative and exercise extreme patience and take turns "on duty" to maintain some kind of peace around the place.

Friday finally came and Gavin now wears a bright blue cast from his thigh to his heel. He is scooting and rolling around, dragging that cast toward whatever the current goal. He has figured out how to reach up on the couch or table to get his toys. He has found new ways to play with old toys from his current vantage point. He has even decided that sitting still and reading books are enjoyable activities. He doesn't even seem too annoyed at the inconvenience. If it wasn't for the now full-blown cold, he would be back to his usual cheerful, busy, easily-entertained self. Cast or no cast, Gavin is Gavin.

It is quite remarkable, I think, how adaptable children are. They seem to take things in stride, accepting change and working within the boundaries set for them by circumstance. In some ways, children are like animals. They live one day, one moment at a time. They work and play and learn within their limitations without worrying about whether it should, or could, be any different. I love that about children. I admire that about children. I envy that about children.

Somewhere between early childhood and adulthood, many of us lose the ability to just be ourselves. We worry about whether we are smart enough, rich enough, strong enough, pretty enough. We worry about what I "need" to get done, what I "should" get done, what I "didn't" get done. We worry........

I think we all need to be more like Gavin. We need to be ourselves. We need to reach for what we want in our own way. We need to discover new things that bring us joy. We need to work around the inconveniences to figure out what really matters to us. We need to smile more and worry less. Hopefully, we won't need to break a leg to do it!

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere."
(The United Church Observer)

The Turtle and the Hare

2009-03-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Most of you know the story of the hare who challenged the turtle to a race. The hare, obviously the faster of the two, runs well ahead of the turtle. He then lies in the shade for a quick nap, waking later to discover that the turtle, who had slowly but determinedly moved ahead on the path, had finished the race ahead of him.

Someone mentioned this story today in a meeting I attended. She proceeded to compare the animals with people, running the race of life. Some are like the hare, talented and confident (perhaps even cocky) and quick to jump into the fray, but often exhausted before the race is ended. Some are more like the turtle, willing and able and determined to finish the race at their own pace. She concluded that we should be like the turtle.

I think, however, that most of us are a combination of both the turtle and the hare. At least, I think I am. Sometimes I find enthusiasm for a project or assignment and jump in with all my energy, exhausting myself and necessitating a time out for rest, short of the finish line. Then I carefully pick it up again at a more realistic (usually slower) pace, but still finish the race. Sometimes I willingly accept a challenge, knowing that I am able to accomplish the task, but also knowing I will have to take it slow and careful if I am to survive it! As I move forward, my enthusiasm and ability (and often my speed) grows and I am able to finish the project successfully.

I am also glad to have others, "turtles" and "hares" and combinations of both, in my life. I think I need both. I learn from both. I need the talented, the able-bodied, the willing, the confident, and those quietly determined. I need those who are quick and energetic, those who are slow and steady. I need others. I was not meant to run my race alone. But I was meant to run my own race, at my own speed, in my own way, to my own finish line. I learned long ago that there is no competition in the Lord's plan. He only wants us to become our best, not someone else's best. He wants us all to finish the race, following His path at our own pace.

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)

"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
(Louis Pasteur)

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." (Newt Gingrich)

So, all you turtles and hares (and horses and chickens and bears and boars, etc. )----Get out there and run your race. Do it your way. But do it all the way to the finish line!

Live in the Moment

2009-03-01T16:31:00.000-08:00

"To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are--always!" Richard Carlson

This week I have had the wonderful experience of living in the moment. I was able to spend time with a variety of people in a variety of places with very little, if any, real responsibility or assignment and absolutely no worry about what I "shoulda, woulda, coulda done". It was delightful.

I spent Wednesday afternoon driving to Utah with my daughter Sarah. Those of you who know Sarah have experienced, I'm sure, her gift of gab. She can carry on a conversation about anything at anytime with anyone. She is entertaining and unfailingly cheerful. We ran errands, ate together, laughed a lot and reveled in the fact that Jon had the kids! All I had to do was drive. We had a great time.

After I dropped her off at a friend's home, I went to Mom's place where I camped out for the next four nights! Sleepovers at Mom's are always fun. She never tells me what to eat, when to come home or when to go to bed, like she did in the "good ole days." She has a great bed, lots of good reading material, a variety of food that requires little, if any, preparation and there's always a puzzle in progress on one of her tables. Besides that, I really like my mom's company.

Thursday I spent most of the day in the temple with another daughter, Diana. She and her friend Lydia were there for the first time along with their sweethearts and many others, both family and friends. There is absolutely nothing like being in the temple with your husband and children. Diana and Travis, Seth and I, Ben and Heidi, Sarah, Jason, Sandy and Grandma Sally were all there. Following that, we all met (along with Aubrey and Mikayla and Cadence) for food and boisterous conversation and lots of laughter.....definitely a great "moment" to "live in". I didn't have to cook or clean up either!

Thursday evening was filled with some manual labor and an organizational workout--Mom and I found the floor in her office!!!! I piled things in my car to take to the DI, to give to Sandy, or to throw away. We giggled over some of the old sayings from Dad's office wall and remembered a few occasions from the photos we found. We put up a few new wall hangings around the house and shredded a bunch of old papers. So now Mom's office is fabulous......and still has plenty of boxes in the closet for her to go through when she needs to "live in" that kind of "moment".

My only scheduled appointment Friday was with Diana and Travis at the reception center to make final plans for their wedding day festivities. That was another one of those "moments" to savor. Diana, of course, has things well in hand. I just got to enjoy watching the two of them take care of everything. I even got a present out of it--Thanks, Travis, for the angel. She's lovely. A very important stop at the Baxter's was next, as Diana tried on THE WEDDING DRESS. Sandra really knows how to sew up a FABULOUS gown. We had to keep a very curious groom out of the room, so as not to spoil the surprise....less than a month now! I also wandered around a thrift store and a health food store, had dinner with Mom and Jason and Anna at La Casita in Springville, and kicked around a WalMart with Anna. (Can I talk about Diana and WalMart in the same paragraph?) Another completely stress free day.

Saturday I was back in the temple for Lydia and Nick's wedding. Loved being there. Between the temple and the luncheon in Fillmore, I took some time to visit several people in Scipio. Great to see many old friends there. As the luncheon was winding up, Shellie (Barkdull) Winona and her husband Darcy showed up just to say hello to me and meet Travis. Then I read for an hour or so before heading to the church for the reception. There I just sat back and watched the photographer at work, the bridesmaids primping and the groomsmen pulling jokes and Cindy (Lydia's mom) bustling around taking care of business! It was a lovely affair. About the time it started, Rebecca (another of my five daughters) arrived and we enjoyed a few minutes together, eating refreshments and going through the line twice! Travis hung with us, too. Then I was ready to head north to Mom's again for the night. So I hugged everyone goodbye and left the party behind for an easy drive to Springville and a good night's sleep.

Today I got up early and drove into Cokeville just in time for church. Sarah even cooked dinner, so my week of "ease" continued for a few more hours. What a week.

Of course, none of this would have been possible if someone else, namely Seth, hadn't taken over some of my "stuff," giving me a gift--the opportunity to just be "in the moment". Thanks, Sweetheart. I appreciate you and I'm so thankful to share my "moment in time", this wonderful life, with you. I think I can take from this week a reminder to bask in family a little more, to worry less about the details, to appreciate this precious life and remember that we only do today once......so enjoy it.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around occasionally, you could miss it."
(Ferris Bueller)

SISTERS

2009-02-22T18:40:00.000-08:00

I had a visit this week with my sisters (I have SIX sisters). We gathered in Salt Lake City at what we affectionately call "Hotel Thomas"--Dede's place. It was relaxed. It was fun and funny. It was emotional. It was educational. It was full of lounging and walking and talking and eating and dogs. It included tears and laughter and conversation and comfortable silence. It was wonderful.

As adults we sisters have tried to maintain a relationship apart from our spouses and children and now grandchildren. We have tried to keep a line of communication open for information, support, emotions, criticisms, praise, encouragement, moods, whims, ideas, hopes and fears. We have shared good times and bad. We have sometimes done it poorly and sometimes done it well. But we have always acknowledged the fact that there is no relationship quite like that of sisters.

I agree with a statement by Penelope Farmer, "Sisterhood is a messy, fragmentary, ambiguous thing, an indiscriminate jumble of love, hate, amity, enmity, to be teased out bit by bit."

I can't imagine life without sisters. I have SIX of the best--Dede, Sue, Sandy, Jules, Mari and Jen. They are vibrant, complex, loving, wise, beautiful, very real women and they are MY sisters. I am so blessed.

Writer's block

2009-02-15T14:39:00.000-08:00

I can't think of anything to say. I guess my mind is still too fuzzy from too little use and too many days on the couch. I suppose the flu will do that to you. I'll have to make up for it another day. In the meantime:

Be of Good Cheer!

FLU

2009-02-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

head hurts
sinus stuffed
throat thick
skin sweats
no desire to move
night becomes day becomes night again
what day is it
pills popped
soup swallowed
"C" sucked
herbs eaten
no relief in sight
good thing my children are mostly grown
this flu must end

It's a Wonderful Life

2009-02-01T18:35:00.001-08:00

"No one is born to be a failure. No one is poor who has friends. Simple thoughts that were the inspiration for one of the richest, most uplifting, most beloved American films ever made. Frank Capra's classic tale of George Bailey and his Christmas Eve visit with a guardian angel....remains as powerful and moving as the day it was made." (cover of video)

This week I had occasion to watch part of this classic film. It caused me to ponder on my own life, looking at my successes and failures, listing my friends, and remembering what I've done and where I've been.

I never imagined as a child that I would end up in a small town in Wyoming managing a little "mom and pop" motel scraping by month to month. I never dreamed of scrubbing toilets and doing laundry and keeping records to satisfy the IRS. I did plan to marry and have children, but never thought much about the ups and downs of marriage and motherhood--the hours and days and weeks staying home, following routine patterns, caring for home and family, seeming to accomplish "nothing much of interest" . I somehow thought, like George Bailey, that I would "lasso the moon". I imagined the "happily ever after" of a fairy tale--love, fame, fortune...you know.

Now, as I look back, I see the blessings that have come to me in this "non-fairy-tale-like" life. I have a great husband. He's easy to live with, fun to be around, smart, intelligent, resourceful and loving. I have seven wonderful children, independent and happy and moving forward in their lives. They have found wonderful companions and have begun raising families of their own, bringing us eleven awesome grandkids. Because of our many moves, I now have friends all over the place, too!

I enjoy singing, reading, learning, creating, cooking, laughing, even cleaning and organizing. I get quick updates and stimulating conversations regularly over the phone and internet. I get hugs and sticky kisses and Lego masterpieces almost daily. There is love and appreciation and fun and passion in my life. And, though each day is remarkably similar to the one before, I am continually learning new things--about myself, about the world, about my purpose and direction.

My life has taken many unexpected twists and turns bringing me to where I am today. And, though I never found fame and fortune, I have to say I wouldn't change much! I have my "happily ever after" and it really is "A Wonderful Life".

Mmmmm......Peanut Butter

2009-01-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

I love peanut butter. Seriously! I really do.

Sometimes I crave it! You know....scooped up with apple slices or spread on celery sticks or stirred into hot corn syrup and sugar, then mixed with Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes. I like it with honey on toasted seven grain bread or with jam on soft white bread. A waffle with peanut butter and syrup is one of my favorite breakfasts. I admit I even occasionally eat it plain with a spoon.

I like peanut butter creamy and sticky, requiring a glass of milk to get it off the top of my mouth. I like peanut butter thick and crunchy with bits of peanuts that stick between my teeth. I like peanut butter cookies and peanut butter bars and peanut butter frosting on chocolate cake. If candy has peanut butter in it, you can bet I like it.

I don't remember when I first fell in love with peanut butter. I think it must have been early in my life, but was only recently rediscovered. I suppose that making it "forbidden", as it was during recent months of dieting, has only enhanced it's enticement. But I can't remember a time that I didn't like peanut butter.

Interestingly, peanuts alone are not at the top of my list. Cashews have always been my nut of choice, with pistachios a close second. I like almonds and pecans and macadamia nuts. But I'll rarely, if ever, choose to munch on peanuts. I even buy mixed nuts without peanuts!

I guess there is no explaining it, but it is true: I love peanut butter. I really do.

HOME

2009-01-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

"A home is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body. For human beings are not so constituted that they can live without expansion. If they do not get it in one way, they must in another, or perish." (Margaret Fuller)

Today I sat in my kitchen for hours with a variety of friends and family, eating and then conversing in an unhurried way. We shared thoughts and ideas on a plethora of subjects. We discussed possibilities and hopes for the future. We laughed about unexpected events of the week past. We solved a few scheduling problems and considered the possible reasons for an unhappy baby. Then we ate some more.

I've lived in a large number of houses in my life, most of which were very common and unremarkable, nothing fancy. I've never had much money or riches of the world. But I have a HOME-- a place where I am heard, where I can learn, where I can ask questions, where I am valued. I have a home where I can try new things, succeeding at some and failing at others. I have a home where everyone is always welcome. I have a home where I can find answers to my questions and new questions to open my mind.

My home is a comfortable place often filled with sound: voices, music, balls bouncing, treadmill running, cards shuffling, weights clanking, laughter, phones ringing, horns honking, TV and computers blaring, even animal calls. But in these same walls are moments of quiet study and contemplation, earnest conversation and prayerful pondering.

I may never live in a new house or have new furniture or a big screen TV. But in my home, we will often have banquets for "the mind as well as the body". Though I never finished my college education or furthered my formal training in music or art, I have found in my home opportunities for "expansion" that keep me learning and growing..............and very happy.

"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need." (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

"The Lord looketh on the Heart"

2009-01-11T18:36:00.000-08:00

"Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature;...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Several years ago, my daughter Sarah pulled up the old, well-worn carpet in her front room to reveal an old hardwood floor. Some elbow grease and varnish later, she had a beautiful new floor for her salon.

A story in the Church News last week tells of a woman who fought for years unsuccessfully to make a patch of grass grow green and healthy, only to discover a "quaint, old-fashioned patio made of a mixture of vintage bricks" when she dug the grass out.

When I first moved to Cokeville, I met a woman nearly ninety years old, skeletal and home bound by her weakened immune system. As I spent time with her, I glimpsed brief insights into her soul. She was always lively, likeable, lovely. She always told stories of her youth, her marriage, her family and her life. She always had a smile and bit humor to share. She always bore strong testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father with confidence that she was known and loved by them. We laughed together. We learned together. We cried together. I came to appreciate that, though she appeared old and frail, she was a strong, stalwart, special daughter of God. On the outside I could not see it, but on the inside was a heart of gold and a spirit of great beauty. Alva died last week. She would have loved her funeral. Everyone she loved and cared about (except those that are with her now) was there. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to look beyond her outward appearance to see as "the Lord seeth" this wonderful woman. I will miss her.

I hope that others can look beyond my "old carpet" and "yellow grass" to see me for who I am inside. I have confidence that God sees me and hears me and knows me....and loves me just as I am. I'm so thankful for that knowledge. It gives me hope and peace.

The Meaning of Living

2009-01-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

"To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man. Service to others is akin to duty --- the fulfillment of which brings true joy." Thomas S. Monson

We sustained a new bishopric in our ward today (Cokeville 2nd Ward, Cokeville, WY in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints): Bishop Bill Thompson, 1st Counselor Leon Pope, 2nd Counselor Roger Warner, with Brian Toomer as executive secretary. These men were called by God through inspiration given to our Stake President and his counselors. They accepted the call with faith that this is what God wants them to be doing right now. They will willingly donate countless hours of service to those of us in their stewardship because they "surrendered (their) ego(s) to the service of (their) fellow man" and their God. They will have to balance this new duty with their careers and family responsibilities. This is not a paid position. There is no financial compensation for service in this church. But President Monson assures "the fulfillment of (the call to serve) brings true joy."

The outgoing bishopric (Bishop Wade Fiscus, 1st Counselor Jade Hendersen, 2nd Counselor Kevin Walker, Secretary Duane Maddock) have served for over five years. Their comments in our meetings today confirm President Monson's words. All three of them indicated they experienced vast personal growth, increased faith in God and Jesus Christ, better understanding of Christ's atonement, greater love for those they have served, and gratitude for the opportunity to serve. They found joy in the fulfillment of their duty, their calling to serve.

I have learned that, while duty in the church is an essential service I freely give, there are multitudes of other opportunities to serve all around me...giving of my time, talents and resources to those in my own family...recognizing and filling a need in my neighborhood or community...sharing what I have with any that cross my path. Sometimes serving is simple--a smile, a kind word, a hand up. Sometimes service requires more thought, more tact, more sacrifice. Sometimes we will see the need and sometimes we will be asked for help.
Regardless of the circumstance, putting others' needs ahead of our own will always bring us joy in return. I know this is true.

So, as I look ahead to the new year, I want to include more giving and less self-indulgence, more service and less self-pity, more concern for others and less concern for myself. I will try to move the "focus outside (my)self" and "find real happiness." I look forward to the new year ahead.

"Keeping Christmas" by Henry van Dyke

2008-12-28T15:58:00.000-08:00

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons when men agree to stop work and make merry together is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity.
But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is keeping Christmas.
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background and your duties in the middle distance and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
And if you keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.

Someone handed this essay to me today. It really touched me. I agree with him. I've always believed things change one person, one act, one day at a time.
I intend to keep his thoughts in mind as I set my goals for the new year. I want to keep Christmas always.

Our "Only Child"

2008-12-21T17:25:00.000-08:00

My daughter Mariah is 15.

For the last few months she has been the only child in our home. She loves it. She has her own big bed in her own big room filled with plenty of gadgets, lots of clothes, and a massive pile of shoes. She doesn't have to fight for time in the bathroom or possession of the remote control. She doesn't have to look for her clothes in someone else's closet or hide her favorite things from eager thieves. She enjoys a great amount of privacy and few unexpected interruptions.

Mariah is learning to drive. She practiced quite a bit with our mini truck in the motel parking lot, studied up on the driver's manual, passed her written exam and has been driving with a learner's permit for six months. She's taken me as far as Soda Spring, Idaho and Logan, Utah and even most of several trips to Utah County. She's doing really well. She is calm and alert when she drives and takes direction well. Six more months and I'm sure she will willingly take over the errand running that I will willingly turn over to her.

My recent parent/teacher conferences confirmed to me that Mariah is a great student. She is a conscientious, practical learner. Her teachers like her. One even said, and I quote, "I wish I had a whole classroom of Mariahs." Though straight A's like hers are not unusual in our family, Mariah's grades reflect one quite unique trait. She actually usually does assignments when they are given, instead of procrastinating until the day they are due.

Mariah likes to sing. This year she is in the high school choir and a performing group of only nine students called Celebration. Her director has her sing soprano with the choir and alto with Celebration. This has been a good opportunity for her to stretch her natural musical abilities as well as improve her stage presence.

Though I never expected it, Mariah became a cheerleader last year and again this year. Cheer leading is a sport that requires strength, flexibility, rhythmn, teamwork, and massive amounts of time. The squad gives immeasurable amounts of service and support to all the other teams, receiving little recognition in return. But Mariah has learned a lot in terms of her own capabilities and self confidence. She's discovered that she can do round offs and stunts and dance moves with style. She's had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

Seth, Mariah and I have been working on a fitness program for six weeks now, "Body for Life". Mariah has been remarkably dedicated and consistent. She is keeping me on track with the weight lifting and aerobic end of the program and I've been helping her with the food end. We're learning together and feeling pretty good in the process.

Mariah is a great gal. I think we'll keep her. We may never let her leave.

"Loving What Is"

2008-12-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a book by Byron Katie, "Loving What Is". My sister Dede suggested it to me. While I won't go into the details of what she calls "The Work", I would like to share a few quotations from the book that struck a chord with me.

"I wasn't always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn't so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we're all doing the best we can. This is how a lifetime of humility begins."

"For some of us, life is controlled by our thoughts about work and money. But if our thinking is clear, how could work or money be the problem? Our thinking is all we need to change. It's all we can change. This is very good news."

"Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we've found success, we'll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we'll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion...Without a story, we're successful wherever we are."

"Everything happens for me, not to me."

"You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer."

"Self-realization is the sweetest thing. It shows us how we are fully responsible for ourselves, and that is where we find our freedom. Rather than being other-realized, you can be self-realized. Instead of looking to others for your fulfillment, you can find it in yourself."

"Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for."

I found lots of thoughtful information in the book. I look forward to examining my thoughts with Katie's four questions. Though I don't agree all her ideas, I think there is much joy to be found with her methods and peace in "Loving What Is".

QUIET

2008-12-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

"Take some time...each day to have a quiet hour,...an hour of prayerful meditation where you can tune in with God and discuss with Him problems that are too much for human understanding, too great for human strength." (Harold B. Lee)

I love quiet.
I remember when I was first married and filled all my time with noise: conversation, telephone, TV, radio, records, cassette tapes, etc. Even when I was alone in the house, I was surrounded with sound. I rarely got into the car without turning on the radio. I don't think I ever even did the dishes or weeded the garden or picked cherries without a radio tuned to a favorite station.
Then I became a mother...one, two....seven. For years I was never alone and it was never quiet. Don't get me wrong--they were busy, happy, wonderful, joyful years. I don't regret any of it! Somewhere along the way I turned off the music, the talk, the TV and discovered QUIET. Quiet became a welcome escape, a treasured commodity, a source of peace and comfort and strength. I learned to seek it out, to plan it into my day and to take advantage of each moment. I learned to listen in the quiet--to really hear my own thoughts. I learned to be still and hear promptings of the Spirit. It was in the quiet that I could best understand myself, my needs and desires, my fears and disappointments, my goals and aspirations.
And so it is today. I still love the noise--the chaos of family, the music, the laughter, the familiar voices, the sounds of nature and human life. But I will always treasure the quiet moments, however brief. It is in those quiet moments that I find renewal, understanding and peace.

"Take time to meditate...Don't get so busy that you don't have time...Take the time."
(Harold B. Lee)

Selective Memory

2008-11-30T16:14:00.000-08:00

"I think the secret to a happy life is a selective memory. Remember what
you're most grateful for and quickly forget what you're not."
Grace by Richard Paul Evans

...Great advice from a little book I read this week...
Funny, because I've always said that I have selective memory--I only remember what I want to remember (and maybe a little less). I've come to see that I really am happier if I leave behind those things that make me stressed, worried, angry and sad. I don't mean forget like never examine and learn from it, or like ignore it if I should be doing something about it, or pretending it never happened. I mean face it, deal with it if need be, and let it go.
Sometimes it is harder than others to forget or let go. Sometimes I hang on to STUFF and let it take up my time and energy so long that I allow myself to twist it around or change it into something it wasn't at the start. I allow it to change me into someone I don't really want to be. Sometimes I compare myself to others I see as "smarter" or "prettier" or "better". Sometimes I ignore my good traits, thinking only of my mistakes and failures. Sometimes I stomp on myself for not being perfect. Sometimes I forget to be grateful for all that is right and good and happy in my life. But when I choose to accept myself for who I am and feel gratitude for who I am (strengths and weaknesses together), I am most happy.
This week I have had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, for family, for friends, for freedom, for peace, for faith, for love, for hope and for a selective memory. I have a happy life. I am so blessed.

Count Your Blessings

2008-11-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving.
It is the only holiday that hasn't been commercialized and blown up into something beyond what was initially intended. It is a day to gather together to celebrate the harvest, the earth's bounty. It is a time to reflect on gifts and blessings. large and small, that have enriched our lives. It is a day to recognize where all these wonderful things come from and give thanks.
So today I am counting my blessings. I have so many.
I am thankful for life itself; what a precious gift.
I am thankful for a loving husband--a ruggedly handsome, cheerful, active, wise, capable, strong, giving, funny, thoughtful, handy guy!
I am thankful for GREAT kids who are fast becoming my closest friends and teachers as much as my children.
I am thankful for their husbands and wives who have added so much to our close circle of family.
I am thankful for wonderful grandkids--each one expanding my heart and bringing so much joy.
I am thankful for parents who taught me well and gave me a home, direction, a good work ethic and encouragement.
I am thankful for brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins--what a family I have!
I am thankful for good friends, some I'm sure I've known forever.
I am thankful for good health and a strong body, to be able to feel and see and hear and smell and taste.
I am thankful for Dr Simmeon's hcg protocol that has helped me to regain control of my body!
I am thankful for the earth--it's majesty, beauty and variety.
I am thankful I live in a community, state and country that allow me to live the life I choose.
I am thankful for my Father in Heaven, his son and my savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.
I am thankful for their plan of happiness--it brings me hope, faith, peace and joy.
I am thankful. I have so much.

"Everything is Illuminated"

2008-11-16T14:07:00.000-08:00

The other day I watched "Everything is Illuminated". I found it to be an unusual, slow-paced, somewhat bizarre, but oddly enjoyable film. It is about a young man who collects things--family things. Before his grandmother's death she gives him a photograph and the movie shows his search to understand the photo.
Toward the end of the story, one of the characters comments: "Everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always on the side of us....on the inside looking out. In this way, I will always be on the side of you and you on the side of me, our families and our families' families."
It brought my thoughts back to some family history work that I've done in the last few years. I spent many hours searching out the names and faces of my family--my very extensive family. I found lots of names, dates and records, but my favorite thing was photographs. Looking into the faces of these "strangers" who are my family, I found so much that was familiar. In their eyes, I saw myself--in more ways than one! The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned, the more I understood. The more I understood, the more I wanted to accept and embrace. The more I accepted, the more I came to love.
It is true that we are each unique; there is no one just like us. But in this big universe, we are blessed to have family--others who share physical appearance, personality traits, history and blood. They will "always be on the side of you and you on the side of (them)."
And the more we understand, accept and love each other, the happier we will all be. So I hope to learn more about my family--those who have gone before and those who are still around. I think it is true that "everything is illuminated in the light of the past".

Happiness

2008-11-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

I finished reading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" this week and am feeling very grateful for the experience. There were so many little truths, so many real insights into life. I recommend it to everyone. Read it thoughtfully.........and count your blessings.

A few more quotes:

" ' You'll never raise that one,' they told her, 'Her color ain't good. If the good Lord takes her, it will be for the best. What good is a sickly baby in a poor family? There is too many children on this earth already and no room for the weak ones.'
'Don't say that,' Katie held her baby tightly. 'It's not better to die. Who wants to die? Everything struggles to live. Look at that tree growing up there out of that grating. It gets no sun, and water only when it rains. It's growing out of sour earth. And it's strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong. My children will be strong that way.' "

"She looked down into the yard. The tree whose leaf umbrellas had curled around, under and over her fire escape had been cut down because the housewives complained that wash on the lines got entangled in its branches. The landlord had sent two men and they had chopped it down.
But the tree hadn't died..it hadn't died.
A new tree had grown from the stump and its trunk had grown along the ground until it reached a place where there were no wash lines above it. Then it had started to grow towards the sky again.
It had lived! And nothing could destroy it."

" 'People always think that happiness is a faraway thing,' thought Francie, 'something complicated and hard to get. Yet, what little things can make it up; a place of shelter when it rains--a cup of strong hot coffee when you're blue; for a man, a cigarette for contentment; a book to read when you're alone--just to be with someone you love. Those things make happiness.' "

So today I am feeling grateful for the struggles in my life. They have made me strong. And, again today, I choose to be happy. I am so blessed.

"Let me be SOMETHING..."

2008-11-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

I'm nearly finished with "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn". Great book. Very thought provoking. It is taking me longer than it normally would to read this book because of everything else going on around here. But I really like it. I may even read it over again before I take it back to the library.

My quotes from the book for today:

"I am old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise;
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others.
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse, and stuff'd with the stuff that is fine."

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere--be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'"

It started me thinking about how much I value this life I have been given. Do I really live each moment, each day, to the fullest. Do I know myself? Am I true to myself? Do I appreciate how wonderful it is just to be alive? Am I doing with my time what I really want to be doing? Am I seeking out the things I need and want and hope for within the hours of each day? Am I being "something every hour of my life"? Am I making sure that "not one little piece of living is ever lost."

Perhaps there is more to be found in the bounds of my chosen life. Perhaps I can be more than I have allowed myself to become. Perhaps I will discover new "somethings" in me. Perhaps I will want to change or replace a few "somethings" in me. It's up to me.

Truth vs the Story

2008-10-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

A few days ago our city librarian asked me to read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and then lead a discussion for the local book club. I was a bit surprised that she approached me. Why me? I'm not even a member of the club. I'm not particularly well versed in the classics. I have no real education in literature. But, as most of you know, I do love books--all kinds of books--and I decided to accept the opportunity. I'm so glad I did. I'm only about a third of the way through and I am delighting in the experience.

One part that I really liked:
"I'll not punish you for having an imagination."
Gently, Teacher explained the difference between a lie and a story. A lie was something you told because you were mean or a coward. A story was something you made up out of something that might have happened. Only you didn't tell it like it was; you told it like you thought it should have been...........
"You know, Francie, a lot of people would think that these stories that you're making up all the time were terrible lies because they are not the truth as people see the truth. In the future, when something comes up, you tell exactly how it happened but write down for yourself the way you think it should have happened. Tell the truth and write the story. Then you won't get mixed up."
It was the best advice Francie ever got. Truth and fancy were so mixed up in her mind--as they are in the mind of every lonely child--that she didn't know which was which.......
If she had not found this outlet in writing, she might have grown up to be a tremendous liar.

I really got thinking about all the wonderful fiction that we would be missing, if others like Francie had only told the truth and never written the story. And think of all the truths that we learn from stories that are not necessarily true. I believe in being honest, in telling the truth. But I am grateful for the talented others who can so wonderfully share the stories.
What would life be without books.

I'm sure there will be more from this book to share later. I have a couple more weeks to finish reading before the review meeting.

Volunteers

2008-10-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I attended a Bear Lake Memorial Hospital Foundation banquet in Montpelier, Idaho. A friend had asked me to sing following the dinner, before the report and awards were given. It was a lovely affair. I brought Seth along to enjoy the food and music. We were surprised at how interesting and heart warming the evening was. It is quite amazing how many hours of volunteer work are donated each year to keep the hospital running. Thousands of dollars are raised and donated, too. I couldn't help but think of Dede's time at LDS Hospital and Sue's with the Susan B Komen Foundation. I'm sure you could tell hundreds of stories about the amazing volunteer work that goes on in those organizations.
They also recognized two women that had been long time hospital volunteers. One woman continues to serve countless hours each month and her family was there to cheer her on. The other was an older woman who died this last year and her family had set up a scholarship for students from Montpelier in the health care field. An interesting little side note: I chose to sing two Broadway pieces and the whole room erupted into smiles and applause and then tears before I was even finished. (I thought, wow, I didn't know I was that good.) It wasn't until towards the end of the evening that the hospital administrator asked if I had known the woman who died. He then proceeded to explain that she was a "Broadway Babe" and was always singing for this and that and "would have LOVED my two songs and probably would have joined in"!
So, anyway, I can't help but ponder on what our world would be like if there were not people willing to share what they have--time, money, enthusiasm, talents, love, willingness, encouragement--to help others around them. I know I'm grateful and will be more aware now of all the volunteering that goes on around me and more willing to get out there and do my share.

So now I'm a blogger...

2008-10-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday Ben and Heidi and the kids came up for a visit. It's so nice to have them close enough to do that! While Ben was here he set up the beginnings of this blog for me. And, while I'm not really too proficient at computer stuff, I decided that this was within my reach...and was something I could do...and was something I wanted to do. So if you are reading this then you will know that I have at least figured out the basics and will now begin some sort of journal/thought book/idea storage/news letter in a blog of my own. I'm not sure how often or how much I will write yet. But I believe this will be a great new outlet for me. I look forward to more later...........

Ben made me do this!

2008-10-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a trial run.