HOME

"A home is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body. For human beings are not so constituted that they can live without expansion. If they do not get it in one way, they must in another, or perish." (Margaret Fuller)

Today I sat in my kitchen for hours with a variety of friends and family, eating and then conversing in an unhurried way. We shared thoughts and ideas on a plethora of subjects. We discussed possibilities and hopes for the future. We laughed about unexpected events of the week past. We solved a few scheduling problems and considered the possible reasons for an unhappy baby. Then we ate some more.

I've lived in a large number of houses in my life, most of which were very common and unremarkable, nothing fancy. I've never had much money or riches of the world. But I have a HOME-- a place where I am heard, where I can learn, where I can ask questions, where I am valued. I have a home where I can try new things, succeeding at some and failing at others. I have a home where everyone is always welcome. I have a home where I can find answers to my questions and new questions to open my mind.


My home is a comfortable place often filled with sound: voices, music, balls bouncing, treadmill running, cards shuffling, weights clanking, laughter, phones ringing, horns honking, TV and computers blaring, even animal calls. But in these same walls are moments of quiet study and contemplation, earnest conversation and prayerful pondering.

I may never live in a new house or have new furniture or a big screen TV. But in my home, we will often have banquets for "the mind as well as the body". Though I never finished my college education or furthered my formal training in music or art, I have found in my home opportunities for "expansion" that keep me learning and growing..............and very happy.


"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need." (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

"The Lord looketh on the Heart"

"Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature;...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Several years ago, my daughter Sarah pulled up the old, well-worn carpet in her front room to reveal an old hardwood floor. Some elbow grease and varnish later, she had a beautiful new floor for her salon.

A story in the Church News last week tells of a woman who fought for years unsuccessfully to make a patch of grass grow green and healthy, only to discover a "quaint, old-fashioned patio made of a mixture of vintage bricks" when she dug the grass out.

When I first moved to Cokeville, I met a woman nearly ninety years old, skeletal and home bound by her weakened immune system. As I spent time with her, I glimpsed brief insights into her soul. She was always lively, likeable, lovely. She always told stories of her youth, her marriage, her family and her life. She always had a smile and bit humor to share. She always bore strong testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father with confidence that she was known and loved by them. We laughed together. We learned together. We cried together. I came to appreciate that, though she appeared old and frail, she was a strong, stalwart, special daughter of God. On the outside I could not see it, but on the inside was a heart of gold and a spirit of great beauty. Alva died last week. She would have loved her funeral. Everyone she loved and cared about (except those that are with her now) was there. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to look beyond her outward appearance to see as "the Lord seeth" this wonderful woman. I will miss her.

I hope that others can look beyond my "old carpet" and "yellow grass" to see me for who I am inside. I have confidence that God sees me and hears me and knows me....and loves me just as I am. I'm so thankful for that knowledge. It gives me hope and peace.

The Meaning of Living

"To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man. Service to others is akin to duty --- the fulfillment of which brings true joy." Thomas S. Monson

We sustained a new bishopric in our ward today (Cokeville 2nd Ward, Cokeville, WY in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints): Bishop Bill Thompson, 1st Counselor Leon Pope, 2nd Counselor Roger Warner, with Brian Toomer as executive secretary. These men were called by God through inspiration given to our Stake President and his counselors. They accepted the call with faith that this is what God wants them to be doing right now. They will willingly donate countless hours of service to those of us in their stewardship because they "surrendered (their) ego(s) to the service of (their) fellow man" and their God. They will have to balance this new duty with their careers and family responsibilities. This is not a paid position. There is no financial compensation for service in this church. But President Monson assures "the fulfillment of (the call to serve) brings true joy."

The outgoing bishopric (Bishop Wade Fiscus, 1st Counselor Jade Hendersen, 2nd Counselor Kevin Walker, Secretary Duane Maddock) have served for over five years. Their comments in our meetings today confirm President Monson's words. All three of them indicated they experienced vast personal growth, increased faith in God and Jesus Christ, better understanding of Christ's atonement, greater love for those they have served, and gratitude for the opportunity to serve. They found joy in the fulfillment of their duty, their calling to serve.

I have learned that, while duty in the church is an essential service I freely give, there are multitudes of other opportunities to serve all around me...giving of my time, talents and resources to those in my own family...recognizing and filling a need in my neighborhood or community...sharing what I have with any that cross my path. Sometimes serving is simple--a smile, a kind word, a hand up. Sometimes service requires more thought, more tact, more sacrifice. Sometimes we will see the need and sometimes we will be asked for help.
Regardless of the circumstance, putting others' needs ahead of our own will always bring us joy in return. I know this is true.

So, as I look ahead to the new year, I want to include more giving and less self-indulgence, more service and less self-pity, more concern for others and less concern for myself. I will try to move the "focus outside (my)self" and "find real happiness." I look forward to the new year ahead.

"Keeping Christmas" by Henry van Dyke

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons when men agree to stop work and make merry together is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity.
But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is keeping Christmas.
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background and your duties in the middle distance and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
And if you keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.

Someone handed this essay to me today. It really touched me. I agree with him. I've always believed things change one person, one act, one day at a time.
I intend to keep his thoughts in mind as I set my goals for the new year. I want to keep Christmas always.

Our "Only Child"

My daughter Mariah is 15.

For the last few months she has been the only child in our home. She loves it. She has her own big bed in her own big room filled with plenty of gadgets, lots of clothes, and a massive pile of shoes. She doesn't have to fight for time in the bathroom or possession of the remote control. She doesn't have to look for her clothes in someone else's closet or hide her favorite things from eager thieves. She enjoys a great amount of privacy and few unexpected interruptions.

Mariah is learning to drive. She practiced quite a bit with our mini truck in the motel parking lot, studied up on the driver's manual, passed her written exam and has been driving with a learner's permit for six months. She's taken me as far as Soda Spring, Idaho and Logan, Utah and even most of several trips to Utah County. She's doing really well. She is calm and alert when she drives and takes direction well. Six more months and I'm sure she will willingly take over the errand running that I will willingly turn over to her.

My recent parent/teacher conferences confirmed to me that Mariah is a great student. She is a conscientious, practical learner. Her teachers like her. One even said, and I quote, "I wish I had a whole classroom of Mariahs." Though straight A's like hers are not unusual in our family, Mariah's grades reflect one quite unique trait. She actually usually does assignments when they are given, instead of procrastinating until the day they are due.

Mariah likes to sing. This year she is in the high school choir and a performing group of only nine students called Celebration. Her director has her sing soprano with the choir and alto with Celebration. This has been a good opportunity for her to stretch her natural musical abilities as well as improve her stage presence.

Though I never expected it, Mariah became a cheerleader last year and again this year. Cheer leading is a sport that requires strength, flexibility, rhythmn, teamwork, and massive amounts of time. The squad gives immeasurable amounts of service and support to all the other teams, receiving little recognition in return. But Mariah has learned a lot in terms of her own capabilities and self confidence. She's discovered that she can do round offs and stunts and dance moves with style. She's had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

Seth, Mariah and I have been working on a fitness program for six weeks now, "Body for Life". Mariah has been remarkably dedicated and consistent. She is keeping me on track with the weight lifting and aerobic end of the program and I've been helping her with the food end. We're learning together and feeling pretty good in the process.

Mariah is a great gal. I think we'll keep her. We may never let her leave.

"Loving What Is"

I've been reading a book by Byron Katie, "Loving What Is". My sister Dede suggested it to me. While I won't go into the details of what she calls "The Work", I would like to share a few quotations from the book that struck a chord with me.

"I wasn't always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn't so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we're all doing the best we can. This is how a lifetime of humility begins."

"For some of us, life is controlled by our thoughts about work and money. But if our thinking is clear, how could work or money be the problem? Our thinking is all we need to change. It's all we can change. This is very good news."

"Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we've found success, we'll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we'll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion...Without a story, we're successful wherever we are."

"Everything happens for me, not to me."

"You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer."

"Self-realization is the sweetest thing. It shows us how we are fully responsible for ourselves, and that is where we find our freedom. Rather than being other-realized, you can be self-realized. Instead of looking to others for your fulfillment, you can find it in yourself."

"Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for."

I found lots of thoughtful information in the book. I look forward to examining my thoughts with Katie's four questions. Though I don't agree all her ideas, I think there is much joy to be found with her methods and peace in "Loving What Is".

QUIET

"Take some time...each day to have a quiet hour,...an hour of prayerful meditation where you can tune in with God and discuss with Him problems that are too much for human understanding, too great for human strength." (Harold B. Lee)

I love quiet.
I remember when I was first married and filled all my time with noise: conversation, telephone, TV, radio, records, cassette tapes, etc. Even when I was alone in the house, I was surrounded with sound. I rarely got into the car without turning on the radio. I don't think I ever even did the dishes or weeded the garden or picked cherries without a radio tuned to a favorite station.
Then I became a mother...one, two....seven. For years I was never alone and it was never quiet. Don't get me wrong--they were busy, happy, wonderful, joyful years. I don't regret any of it! Somewhere along the way I turned off the music, the talk, the TV and discovered QUIET. Quiet became a welcome escape, a treasured commodity, a source of peace and comfort and strength. I learned to seek it out, to plan it into my day and to take advantage of each moment. I learned to listen in the quiet--to really hear my own thoughts. I learned to be still and hear promptings of the Spirit. It was in the quiet that I could best understand myself, my needs and desires, my fears and disappointments, my goals and aspirations.
And so it is today. I still love the noise--the chaos of family, the music, the laughter, the familiar voices, the sounds of nature and human life. But I will always treasure the quiet moments, however brief. It is in those quiet moments that I find renewal, understanding and peace.

"Take time to meditate...Don't get so busy that you don't have time...Take the time."
(Harold B. Lee)