"Keeping Christmas" by Henry van Dyke

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons when men agree to stop work and make merry together is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity.
But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is keeping Christmas.
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background and your duties in the middle distance and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
And if you keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.

Someone handed this essay to me today. It really touched me. I agree with him. I've always believed things change one person, one act, one day at a time.
I intend to keep his thoughts in mind as I set my goals for the new year. I want to keep Christmas always.

Our "Only Child"

My daughter Mariah is 15.

For the last few months she has been the only child in our home. She loves it. She has her own big bed in her own big room filled with plenty of gadgets, lots of clothes, and a massive pile of shoes. She doesn't have to fight for time in the bathroom or possession of the remote control. She doesn't have to look for her clothes in someone else's closet or hide her favorite things from eager thieves. She enjoys a great amount of privacy and few unexpected interruptions.

Mariah is learning to drive. She practiced quite a bit with our mini truck in the motel parking lot, studied up on the driver's manual, passed her written exam and has been driving with a learner's permit for six months. She's taken me as far as Soda Spring, Idaho and Logan, Utah and even most of several trips to Utah County. She's doing really well. She is calm and alert when she drives and takes direction well. Six more months and I'm sure she will willingly take over the errand running that I will willingly turn over to her.

My recent parent/teacher conferences confirmed to me that Mariah is a great student. She is a conscientious, practical learner. Her teachers like her. One even said, and I quote, "I wish I had a whole classroom of Mariahs." Though straight A's like hers are not unusual in our family, Mariah's grades reflect one quite unique trait. She actually usually does assignments when they are given, instead of procrastinating until the day they are due.

Mariah likes to sing. This year she is in the high school choir and a performing group of only nine students called Celebration. Her director has her sing soprano with the choir and alto with Celebration. This has been a good opportunity for her to stretch her natural musical abilities as well as improve her stage presence.

Though I never expected it, Mariah became a cheerleader last year and again this year. Cheer leading is a sport that requires strength, flexibility, rhythmn, teamwork, and massive amounts of time. The squad gives immeasurable amounts of service and support to all the other teams, receiving little recognition in return. But Mariah has learned a lot in terms of her own capabilities and self confidence. She's discovered that she can do round offs and stunts and dance moves with style. She's had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

Seth, Mariah and I have been working on a fitness program for six weeks now, "Body for Life". Mariah has been remarkably dedicated and consistent. She is keeping me on track with the weight lifting and aerobic end of the program and I've been helping her with the food end. We're learning together and feeling pretty good in the process.

Mariah is a great gal. I think we'll keep her. We may never let her leave.

"Loving What Is"

I've been reading a book by Byron Katie, "Loving What Is". My sister Dede suggested it to me. While I won't go into the details of what she calls "The Work", I would like to share a few quotations from the book that struck a chord with me.

"I wasn't always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn't so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we're all doing the best we can. This is how a lifetime of humility begins."

"For some of us, life is controlled by our thoughts about work and money. But if our thinking is clear, how could work or money be the problem? Our thinking is all we need to change. It's all we can change. This is very good news."

"Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we've found success, we'll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we'll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion...Without a story, we're successful wherever we are."

"Everything happens for me, not to me."

"You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer."

"Self-realization is the sweetest thing. It shows us how we are fully responsible for ourselves, and that is where we find our freedom. Rather than being other-realized, you can be self-realized. Instead of looking to others for your fulfillment, you can find it in yourself."

"Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for."

I found lots of thoughtful information in the book. I look forward to examining my thoughts with Katie's four questions. Though I don't agree all her ideas, I think there is much joy to be found with her methods and peace in "Loving What Is".

QUIET

"Take some time...each day to have a quiet hour,...an hour of prayerful meditation where you can tune in with God and discuss with Him problems that are too much for human understanding, too great for human strength." (Harold B. Lee)

I love quiet.
I remember when I was first married and filled all my time with noise: conversation, telephone, TV, radio, records, cassette tapes, etc. Even when I was alone in the house, I was surrounded with sound. I rarely got into the car without turning on the radio. I don't think I ever even did the dishes or weeded the garden or picked cherries without a radio tuned to a favorite station.
Then I became a mother...one, two....seven. For years I was never alone and it was never quiet. Don't get me wrong--they were busy, happy, wonderful, joyful years. I don't regret any of it! Somewhere along the way I turned off the music, the talk, the TV and discovered QUIET. Quiet became a welcome escape, a treasured commodity, a source of peace and comfort and strength. I learned to seek it out, to plan it into my day and to take advantage of each moment. I learned to listen in the quiet--to really hear my own thoughts. I learned to be still and hear promptings of the Spirit. It was in the quiet that I could best understand myself, my needs and desires, my fears and disappointments, my goals and aspirations.
And so it is today. I still love the noise--the chaos of family, the music, the laughter, the familiar voices, the sounds of nature and human life. But I will always treasure the quiet moments, however brief. It is in those quiet moments that I find renewal, understanding and peace.

"Take time to meditate...Don't get so busy that you don't have time...Take the time."
(Harold B. Lee)

Selective Memory

"I think the secret to a happy life is a selective memory. Remember what
you're most grateful for and quickly forget what you're not."
Grace by Richard Paul Evans

...Great advice from a little book I read this week...
Funny, because I've always said that I have selective memory--I only remember what I want to remember (and maybe a little less). I've come to see that I really am happier if I leave behind those things that make me stressed, worried, angry and sad. I don't mean forget like never examine and learn from it, or like ignore it if I should be doing something about it, or pretending it never happened. I mean face it, deal with it if need be, and let it go.
Sometimes it is harder than others to forget or let go. Sometimes I hang on to STUFF and let it take up my time and energy so long that I allow myself to twist it around or change it into something it wasn't at the start. I allow it to change me into someone I don't really want to be. Sometimes I compare myself to others I see as "smarter" or "prettier" or "better". Sometimes I ignore my good traits, thinking only of my mistakes and failures. Sometimes I stomp on myself for not being perfect. Sometimes I forget to be grateful for all that is right and good and happy in my life. But when I choose to accept myself for who I am and feel gratitude for who I am (strengths and weaknesses together), I am most happy.
This week I have had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, for family, for friends, for freedom, for peace, for faith, for love, for hope and for a selective memory. I have a happy life. I am so blessed.

Count Your Blessings

I love Thanksgiving.
It is the only holiday that hasn't been commercialized and blown up into something beyond what was initially intended. It is a day to gather together to celebrate the harvest, the earth's bounty. It is a time to reflect on gifts and blessings. large and small, that have enriched our lives. It is a day to recognize where all these wonderful things come from and give thanks.
So today I am counting my blessings. I have so many.
I am thankful for life itself; what a precious gift.
I am thankful for a loving husband--a ruggedly handsome, cheerful, active, wise, capable, strong, giving, funny, thoughtful, handy guy!
I am thankful for GREAT kids who are fast becoming my closest friends and teachers as much as my children.
I am thankful for their husbands and wives who have added so much to our close circle of family.
I am thankful for wonderful grandkids--each one expanding my heart and bringing so much joy.
I am thankful for parents who taught me well and gave me a home, direction, a good work ethic and encouragement.
I am thankful for brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins--what a family I have!
I am thankful for good friends, some I'm sure I've known forever.
I am thankful for good health and a strong body, to be able to feel and see and hear and smell and taste.
I am thankful for Dr Simmeon's hcg protocol that has helped me to regain control of my body!
I am thankful for the earth--it's majesty, beauty and variety.
I am thankful I live in a community, state and country that allow me to live the life I choose.
I am thankful for my Father in Heaven, his son and my savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.
I am thankful for their plan of happiness--it brings me hope, faith, peace and joy.
I am thankful. I have so much.

"Everything is Illuminated"

The other day I watched "Everything is Illuminated". I found it to be an unusual, slow-paced, somewhat bizarre, but oddly enjoyable film. It is about a young man who collects things--family things. Before his grandmother's death she gives him a photograph and the movie shows his search to understand the photo.
Toward the end of the story, one of the characters comments: "Everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always on the side of us....on the inside looking out. In this way, I will always be on the side of you and you on the side of me, our families and our families' families."
It brought my thoughts back to some family history work that I've done in the last few years. I spent many hours searching out the names and faces of my family--my very extensive family. I found lots of names, dates and records, but my favorite thing was photographs. Looking into the faces of these "strangers" who are my family, I found so much that was familiar. In their eyes, I saw myself--in more ways than one! The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned, the more I understood. The more I understood, the more I wanted to accept and embrace. The more I accepted, the more I came to love.
It is true that we are each unique; there is no one just like us. But in this big universe, we are blessed to have family--others who share physical appearance, personality traits, history and blood. They will "always be on the side of you and you on the side of (them)."
And the more we understand, accept and love each other, the happier we will all be. So I hope to learn more about my family--those who have gone before and those who are still around. I think it is true that "everything is illuminated in the light of the past".