SISTERS

I had a visit this week with my sisters (I have SIX sisters). We gathered in Salt Lake City at what we affectionately call "Hotel Thomas"--Dede's place. It was relaxed. It was fun and funny. It was emotional. It was educational. It was full of lounging and walking and talking and eating and dogs. It included tears and laughter and conversation and comfortable silence. It was wonderful.

As adults we sisters have tried to maintain a relationship apart from our spouses and children and now grandchildren. We have tried to keep a line of communication open for information, support, emotions, criticisms, praise, encouragement, moods, whims, ideas, hopes and fears. We have shared good times and bad. We have sometimes done it poorly and sometimes done it well. But we have always acknowledged the fact that there is no relationship quite like that of sisters.

I agree with a statement by Penelope Farmer, "Sisterhood is a messy, fragmentary, ambiguous thing, an indiscriminate jumble of love, hate, amity, enmity, to be teased out bit by bit."

I can't imagine life without sisters. I have SIX of the best--Dede, Sue, Sandy, Jules, Mari and Jen. They are vibrant, complex, loving, wise, beautiful, very real women and they are MY sisters. I am so blessed.

Writer's block

I can't think of anything to say. I guess my mind is still too fuzzy from too little use and too many days on the couch. I suppose the flu will do that to you. I'll have to make up for it another day. In the meantime:

Be of Good Cheer!

FLU

head hurts
sinus stuffed
throat thick
skin sweats
no desire to move
night becomes day becomes night again
what day is it
pills popped
soup swallowed
"C" sucked
herbs eaten
no relief in sight
good thing my children are mostly grown
this flu must end

It's a Wonderful Life

"No one is born to be a failure. No one is poor who has friends. Simple thoughts that were the inspiration for one of the richest, most uplifting, most beloved American films ever made. Frank Capra's classic tale of George Bailey and his Christmas Eve visit with a guardian angel....remains as powerful and moving as the day it was made." (cover of video)

This week I had occasion to watch part of this classic film. It caused me to ponder on my own life, looking at my successes and failures, listing my friends, and remembering what I've done and where I've been.

I never imagined as a child that I would end up in a small town in Wyoming managing a little "mom and pop" motel scraping by month to month. I never dreamed of scrubbing toilets and doing laundry and keeping records to satisfy the IRS. I did plan to marry and have children, but never thought much about the ups and downs of marriage and motherhood--the hours and days and weeks staying home, following routine patterns, caring for home and family, seeming to accomplish "nothing much of interest" . I somehow thought, like George Bailey, that I would "lasso the moon". I imagined the "happily ever after" of a fairy tale--love, fame, fortune...you know.

Now, as I look back, I see the blessings that have come to me in this "non-fairy-tale-like" life. I have a great husband. He's easy to live with, fun to be around, smart, intelligent, resourceful and loving. I have seven wonderful children, independent and happy and moving forward in their lives. They have found wonderful companions and have begun raising families of their own, bringing us eleven awesome grandkids. Because of our many moves, I now have friends all over the place, too!

I enjoy singing, reading, learning, creating, cooking, laughing, even cleaning and organizing. I get quick updates and stimulating conversations regularly over the phone and internet. I get hugs and sticky kisses and Lego masterpieces almost daily. There is love and appreciation and fun and passion in my life. And, though each day is remarkably similar to the one before, I am continually learning new things--about myself, about the world, about my purpose and direction.

My life has taken many unexpected twists and turns bringing me to where I am today. And, though I never found fame and fortune, I have to say I wouldn't change much! I have my "happily ever after" and it really is "A Wonderful Life".

Mmmmm......Peanut Butter

I love peanut butter. Seriously! I really do.

Sometimes I crave it! You know....scooped up with apple slices or spread on celery sticks or stirred into hot corn syrup and sugar, then mixed with Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes. I like it with honey on toasted seven grain bread or with jam on soft white bread. A waffle with peanut butter and syrup is one of my favorite breakfasts. I admit I even occasionally eat it plain with a spoon.

I like peanut butter creamy and sticky, requiring a glass of milk to get it off the top of my mouth. I like peanut butter thick and crunchy with bits of peanuts that stick between my teeth. I like peanut butter cookies and peanut butter bars and peanut butter frosting on chocolate cake. If candy has peanut butter in it, you can bet I like it.

I don't remember when I first fell in love with peanut butter. I think it must have been early in my life, but was only recently rediscovered. I suppose that making it "forbidden", as it was during recent months of dieting, has only enhanced it's enticement. But I can't remember a time that I didn't like peanut butter.

Interestingly, peanuts alone are not at the top of my list. Cashews have always been my nut of choice, with pistachios a close second. I like almonds and pecans and macadamia nuts. But I'll rarely, if ever, choose to munch on peanuts. I even buy mixed nuts without peanuts!

I guess there is no explaining it, but it is true: I love peanut butter. I really do.

HOME

"A home is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body. For human beings are not so constituted that they can live without expansion. If they do not get it in one way, they must in another, or perish." (Margaret Fuller)

Today I sat in my kitchen for hours with a variety of friends and family, eating and then conversing in an unhurried way. We shared thoughts and ideas on a plethora of subjects. We discussed possibilities and hopes for the future. We laughed about unexpected events of the week past. We solved a few scheduling problems and considered the possible reasons for an unhappy baby. Then we ate some more.

I've lived in a large number of houses in my life, most of which were very common and unremarkable, nothing fancy. I've never had much money or riches of the world. But I have a HOME-- a place where I am heard, where I can learn, where I can ask questions, where I am valued. I have a home where I can try new things, succeeding at some and failing at others. I have a home where everyone is always welcome. I have a home where I can find answers to my questions and new questions to open my mind.


My home is a comfortable place often filled with sound: voices, music, balls bouncing, treadmill running, cards shuffling, weights clanking, laughter, phones ringing, horns honking, TV and computers blaring, even animal calls. But in these same walls are moments of quiet study and contemplation, earnest conversation and prayerful pondering.

I may never live in a new house or have new furniture or a big screen TV. But in my home, we will often have banquets for "the mind as well as the body". Though I never finished my college education or furthered my formal training in music or art, I have found in my home opportunities for "expansion" that keep me learning and growing..............and very happy.


"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need." (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

"The Lord looketh on the Heart"

"Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature;...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Several years ago, my daughter Sarah pulled up the old, well-worn carpet in her front room to reveal an old hardwood floor. Some elbow grease and varnish later, she had a beautiful new floor for her salon.

A story in the Church News last week tells of a woman who fought for years unsuccessfully to make a patch of grass grow green and healthy, only to discover a "quaint, old-fashioned patio made of a mixture of vintage bricks" when she dug the grass out.

When I first moved to Cokeville, I met a woman nearly ninety years old, skeletal and home bound by her weakened immune system. As I spent time with her, I glimpsed brief insights into her soul. She was always lively, likeable, lovely. She always told stories of her youth, her marriage, her family and her life. She always had a smile and bit humor to share. She always bore strong testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father with confidence that she was known and loved by them. We laughed together. We learned together. We cried together. I came to appreciate that, though she appeared old and frail, she was a strong, stalwart, special daughter of God. On the outside I could not see it, but on the inside was a heart of gold and a spirit of great beauty. Alva died last week. She would have loved her funeral. Everyone she loved and cared about (except those that are with her now) was there. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to look beyond her outward appearance to see as "the Lord seeth" this wonderful woman. I will miss her.

I hope that others can look beyond my "old carpet" and "yellow grass" to see me for who I am inside. I have confidence that God sees me and hears me and knows me....and loves me just as I am. I'm so thankful for that knowledge. It gives me hope and peace.