Happily Ever After

My daughter Diana married her sweetheart, Travis Thornton, last week. What a wonderful occasion. We are so happy for both of them. We traveled to Salt Lake City and then Seattle to attend, and assist where we could, the temple ceremony and two receptions. The happy couple are now honeymooning in Jamaica--lucky them. I wish them lots of quiet rest, sunshine, romance, adventure and happiness.

So today I offer some quotes appropriate for the occasion:

"Living happily ever after is not the end of a fairy tale. It is the common purpose that all life seeks." (Bob Mandel)

"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." (Joseph Barth)

"A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers." (Ruth Bell Graham)

"Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever." (Leo Buscaglia)

"No cord or cable can draw so forcibly or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread." (Robert Burton)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." (Mignon McLaughlin)

I hope Diana and Travis, and all the rest of us, can live "happily ever after" as we "get on with living and loving."

MAYBE SO, MAYBE NOT

There once was a village that had among its people a very wise old man. The villagers trusted this man to provide them answers to their questions and concerns.
One day, a farmer from the village went to the wise man and said in a frantic tone, "Wise man, help me. A horrible thing has happened. My ox has died and I have no animal to help me plow my field? Isn't this the worst thing that could have possibly happened?" The wise old man replied, "Maybe so, maybe not." The man hurried back to the village and reported to his neighbors that the wise man had gone mad. Surely this was the worst thing that could have happened. Why couldn't he see this?
The very next day, however, a strong, young horse was seen near the man's farm. Because the man had no ox to rely on, he had the idea to catch the horse to replace his ox--and he did. How joyful the farmer was. Plowing the field had never been easier. He went back to the wise man to apologize. "You were right, wise man. Losing my ox wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. It was a blessing in disguise! I never would have captured my new horse had that not happened." The wise man replied once again, "Maybe so, maybe not." Not again, thought the farmer. Surely the wise man had gone mad now.
But, once again, the farmer did not know what was to happen. A few days later the farmer's son was riding the horse and was thrown off. He broke his leg and would not be able to help with the crop. Oh no, thought the man. Now we will starve to death. Once again, the farmer went to the wise man. This time he said, "How did you know that capturing my horse was not a good thing? You were right again. My son is injured and won't be able to help with the crop. This time I'm sure that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. You must agree this time." But, just as he had done before, the wise man calmly looked at the farmer and in a compassionate tone replied once again, "Maybe so, maybe not." Enraged that the wise man could be so ignorant, the farmer stormed back to the village.
The next day troops arrived to take every able-bodied man to the war that had just broken out. The farmer's son was the only young man in the village who didn't have to go. He would live, while the others would surely die. (as told by Richard Carlson)

We don't always know what is going to happen, even when it appears obvious or inevitable. We cannot always determine whether it is the best or the worst thing that could happen. We need to be patient and let life take it's course. We need to be like the wise man--patient and slow to judge. Remember "Maybe so, maybe not."

What do you think?

Don't worry, Be happy.

Last week my grandson, Gavin, broke his leg while playing in his bedroom. No one knows for sure exactly how it came about. But it was apparent immediately that this was not one of those "Jump up. You're OK." moments. At the emergency room, the x-rays showed a fracture just below the tibia. The leg was put in a splint and carefully wrapped with lots of padding. He was sent home with strict instructions to keep him off his foot completely for the next three days after which it could be cast. His bewildered parents drove home wondering how to possibly keep a child of 20 months from putting weight on his foot.

The next few days for Gavin were filled with child-size doses of pain killers, miserable nights trying to get comfortable, no appetite and upset tummy, frustration at the restriction in activities, and, unfortunately, the onset of a cold. Of course the frustration was not his alone. Sarah and Jon had to get creative and exercise extreme patience and take turns "on duty" to maintain some kind of peace around the place.

Friday finally came and Gavin now wears a bright blue cast from his thigh to his heel. He is scooting and rolling around, dragging that cast toward whatever the current goal. He has figured out how to reach up on the couch or table to get his toys. He has found new ways to play with old toys from his current vantage point. He has even decided that sitting still and reading books are enjoyable activities. He doesn't even seem too annoyed at the inconvenience. If it wasn't for the now full-blown cold, he would be back to his usual cheerful, busy, easily-entertained self. Cast or no cast, Gavin is Gavin.

It is quite remarkable, I think, how adaptable children are. They seem to take things in stride, accepting change and working within the boundaries set for them by circumstance. In some ways, children are like animals. They live one day, one moment at a time. They work and play and learn within their limitations without worrying about whether it should, or could, be any different. I love that about children. I admire that about children. I envy that about children.

Somewhere between early childhood and adulthood, many of us lose the ability to just be ourselves. We worry about whether we are smart enough, rich enough, strong enough, pretty enough. We worry about what I "need" to get done, what I "should" get done, what I "didn't" get done. We worry........

I think we all need to be more like Gavin. We need to be ourselves. We need to reach for what we want in our own way. We need to discover new things that bring us joy. We need to work around the inconveniences to figure out what really matters to us. We need to smile more and worry less. Hopefully, we won't need to break a leg to do it!

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere."
(The United Church Observer)

The Turtle and the Hare

Most of you know the story of the hare who challenged the turtle to a race. The hare, obviously the faster of the two, runs well ahead of the turtle. He then lies in the shade for a quick nap, waking later to discover that the turtle, who had slowly but determinedly moved ahead on the path, had finished the race ahead of him.

Someone mentioned this story today in a meeting I attended. She proceeded to compare the animals with people, running the race of life. Some are like the hare, talented and confident (perhaps even cocky) and quick to jump into the fray, but often exhausted before the race is ended. Some are more like the turtle, willing and able and determined to finish the race at their own pace. She concluded that we should be like the turtle.

I think, however, that most of us are a combination of both the turtle and the hare. At least, I think I am. Sometimes I find enthusiasm for a project or assignment and jump in with all my energy, exhausting myself and necessitating a time out for rest, short of the finish line. Then I carefully pick it up again at a more realistic (usually slower) pace, but still finish the race. Sometimes I willingly accept a challenge, knowing that I am able to accomplish the task, but also knowing I will have to take it slow and careful if I am to survive it! As I move forward, my enthusiasm and ability (and often my speed) grows and I am able to finish the project successfully.

I am also glad to have others, "turtles" and "hares" and combinations of both, in my life. I think I need both. I learn from both. I need the talented, the able-bodied, the willing, the confident, and those quietly determined. I need those who are quick and energetic, those who are slow and steady. I need others. I was not meant to run my race alone. But I was meant to run my own race, at my own speed, in my own way, to my own finish line. I learned long ago that there is no competition in the Lord's plan. He only wants us to become our best, not someone else's best. He wants us all to finish the race, following His path at our own pace.

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)

"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
(Louis Pasteur)

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." (Newt Gingrich)

So, all you turtles and hares (and horses and chickens and bears and boars, etc. )----Get out there and run your race. Do it your way. But do it all the way to the finish line!

Live in the Moment

"To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are--always!" Richard Carlson

This week I have had the wonderful experience of living in the moment. I was able to spend time with a variety of people in a variety of places with very little, if any, real responsibility or assignment and absolutely no worry about what I "shoulda, woulda, coulda done". It was delightful.

I spent Wednesday afternoon driving to Utah with my daughter Sarah. Those of you who know Sarah have experienced, I'm sure, her gift of gab. She can carry on a conversation about anything at anytime with anyone. She is entertaining and unfailingly cheerful. We ran errands, ate together, laughed a lot and reveled in the fact that Jon had the kids! All I had to do was drive. We had a great time.

After I dropped her off at a friend's home, I went to Mom's place where I camped out for the next four nights! Sleepovers at Mom's are always fun. She never tells me what to eat, when to come home or when to go to bed, like she did in the "good ole days." She has a great bed, lots of good reading material, a variety of food that requires little, if any, preparation and there's always a puzzle in progress on one of her tables. Besides that, I really like my mom's company.

Thursday I spent most of the day in the temple with another daughter, Diana. She and her friend Lydia were there for the first time along with their sweethearts and many others, both family and friends. There is absolutely nothing like being in the temple with your husband and children. Diana and Travis, Seth and I, Ben and Heidi, Sarah, Jason, Sandy and Grandma Sally were all there. Following that, we all met (along with Aubrey and Mikayla and Cadence) for food and boisterous conversation and lots of laughter.....definitely a great "moment" to "live in". I didn't have to cook or clean up either!

Thursday evening was filled with some manual labor and an organizational workout--Mom and I found the floor in her office!!!! I piled things in my car to take to the DI, to give to Sandy, or to throw away. We giggled over some of the old sayings from Dad's office wall and remembered a few occasions from the photos we found. We put up a few new wall hangings around the house and shredded a bunch of old papers. So now Mom's office is fabulous......and still has plenty of boxes in the closet for her to go through when she needs to "live in" that kind of "moment".

My only scheduled appointment Friday was with Diana and Travis at the reception center to make final plans for their wedding day festivities. That was another one of those "moments" to savor. Diana, of course, has things well in hand. I just got to enjoy watching the two of them take care of everything. I even got a present out of it--Thanks, Travis, for the angel. She's lovely. A very important stop at the Baxter's was next, as Diana tried on THE WEDDING DRESS. Sandra really knows how to sew up a FABULOUS gown. We had to keep a very curious groom out of the room, so as not to spoil the surprise....less than a month now! I also wandered around a thrift store and a health food store, had dinner with Mom and Jason and Anna at La Casita in Springville, and kicked around a WalMart with Anna. (Can I talk about Diana and WalMart in the same paragraph?) Another completely stress free day.

Saturday I was back in the temple for Lydia and Nick's wedding. Loved being there. Between the temple and the luncheon in Fillmore, I took some time to visit several people in Scipio. Great to see many old friends there. As the luncheon was winding up, Shellie (Barkdull) Winona and her husband Darcy showed up just to say hello to me and meet Travis. Then I read for an hour or so before heading to the church for the reception. There I just sat back and watched the photographer at work, the bridesmaids primping and the groomsmen pulling jokes and Cindy (Lydia's mom) bustling around taking care of business! It was a lovely affair. About the time it started, Rebecca (another of my five daughters) arrived and we enjoyed a few minutes together, eating refreshments and going through the line twice! Travis hung with us, too. Then I was ready to head north to Mom's again for the night. So I hugged everyone goodbye and left the party behind for an easy drive to Springville and a good night's sleep.

Today I got up early and drove into Cokeville just in time for church. Sarah even cooked dinner, so my week of "ease" continued for a few more hours. What a week.

Of course, none of this would have been possible if someone else, namely Seth, hadn't taken over some of my "stuff," giving me a gift--the opportunity to just be "in the moment". Thanks, Sweetheart. I appreciate you and I'm so thankful to share my "moment in time", this wonderful life, with you. I think I can take from this week a reminder to bask in family a little more, to worry less about the details, to appreciate this precious life and remember that we only do today once......so enjoy it.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around occasionally, you could miss it."
(Ferris Bueller)