Selective Memory

"I think the secret to a happy life is a selective memory. Remember what
you're most grateful for and quickly forget what you're not."
Grace by Richard Paul Evans

...Great advice from a little book I read this week...
Funny, because I've always said that I have selective memory--I only remember what I want to remember (and maybe a little less). I've come to see that I really am happier if I leave behind those things that make me stressed, worried, angry and sad. I don't mean forget like never examine and learn from it, or like ignore it if I should be doing something about it, or pretending it never happened. I mean face it, deal with it if need be, and let it go.
Sometimes it is harder than others to forget or let go. Sometimes I hang on to STUFF and let it take up my time and energy so long that I allow myself to twist it around or change it into something it wasn't at the start. I allow it to change me into someone I don't really want to be. Sometimes I compare myself to others I see as "smarter" or "prettier" or "better". Sometimes I ignore my good traits, thinking only of my mistakes and failures. Sometimes I stomp on myself for not being perfect. Sometimes I forget to be grateful for all that is right and good and happy in my life. But when I choose to accept myself for who I am and feel gratitude for who I am (strengths and weaknesses together), I am most happy.
This week I have had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, for family, for friends, for freedom, for peace, for faith, for love, for hope and for a selective memory. I have a happy life. I am so blessed.

Count Your Blessings

I love Thanksgiving.
It is the only holiday that hasn't been commercialized and blown up into something beyond what was initially intended. It is a day to gather together to celebrate the harvest, the earth's bounty. It is a time to reflect on gifts and blessings. large and small, that have enriched our lives. It is a day to recognize where all these wonderful things come from and give thanks.
So today I am counting my blessings. I have so many.
I am thankful for life itself; what a precious gift.
I am thankful for a loving husband--a ruggedly handsome, cheerful, active, wise, capable, strong, giving, funny, thoughtful, handy guy!
I am thankful for GREAT kids who are fast becoming my closest friends and teachers as much as my children.
I am thankful for their husbands and wives who have added so much to our close circle of family.
I am thankful for wonderful grandkids--each one expanding my heart and bringing so much joy.
I am thankful for parents who taught me well and gave me a home, direction, a good work ethic and encouragement.
I am thankful for brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins--what a family I have!
I am thankful for good friends, some I'm sure I've known forever.
I am thankful for good health and a strong body, to be able to feel and see and hear and smell and taste.
I am thankful for Dr Simmeon's hcg protocol that has helped me to regain control of my body!
I am thankful for the earth--it's majesty, beauty and variety.
I am thankful I live in a community, state and country that allow me to live the life I choose.
I am thankful for my Father in Heaven, his son and my savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.
I am thankful for their plan of happiness--it brings me hope, faith, peace and joy.
I am thankful. I have so much.

"Everything is Illuminated"

The other day I watched "Everything is Illuminated". I found it to be an unusual, slow-paced, somewhat bizarre, but oddly enjoyable film. It is about a young man who collects things--family things. Before his grandmother's death she gives him a photograph and the movie shows his search to understand the photo.
Toward the end of the story, one of the characters comments: "Everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always on the side of us....on the inside looking out. In this way, I will always be on the side of you and you on the side of me, our families and our families' families."
It brought my thoughts back to some family history work that I've done in the last few years. I spent many hours searching out the names and faces of my family--my very extensive family. I found lots of names, dates and records, but my favorite thing was photographs. Looking into the faces of these "strangers" who are my family, I found so much that was familiar. In their eyes, I saw myself--in more ways than one! The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned, the more I understood. The more I understood, the more I wanted to accept and embrace. The more I accepted, the more I came to love.
It is true that we are each unique; there is no one just like us. But in this big universe, we are blessed to have family--others who share physical appearance, personality traits, history and blood. They will "always be on the side of you and you on the side of (them)."
And the more we understand, accept and love each other, the happier we will all be. So I hope to learn more about my family--those who have gone before and those who are still around. I think it is true that "everything is illuminated in the light of the past".

Happiness

I finished reading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" this week and am feeling very grateful for the experience. There were so many little truths, so many real insights into life. I recommend it to everyone. Read it thoughtfully.........and count your blessings.

A few more quotes:

" ' You'll never raise that one,' they told her, 'Her color ain't good. If the good Lord takes her, it will be for the best. What good is a sickly baby in a poor family? There is too many children on this earth already and no room for the weak ones.'
'Don't say that,' Katie held her baby tightly. 'It's not better to die. Who wants to die? Everything struggles to live. Look at that tree growing up there out of that grating. It gets no sun, and water only when it rains. It's growing out of sour earth. And it's strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong. My children will be strong that way.' "

"She looked down into the yard. The tree whose leaf umbrellas had curled around, under and over her fire escape had been cut down because the housewives complained that wash on the lines got entangled in its branches. The landlord had sent two men and they had chopped it down.
But the tree hadn't died..it hadn't died.
A new tree had grown from the stump and its trunk had grown along the ground until it reached a place where there were no wash lines above it. Then it had started to grow towards the sky again.
It had lived! And nothing could destroy it."

" 'People always think that happiness is a faraway thing,' thought Francie, 'something complicated and hard to get. Yet, what little things can make it up; a place of shelter when it rains--a cup of strong hot coffee when you're blue; for a man, a cigarette for contentment; a book to read when you're alone--just to be with someone you love. Those things make happiness.' "

So today I am feeling grateful for the struggles in my life. They have made me strong. And, again today, I choose to be happy. I am so blessed.

"Let me be SOMETHING..."

I'm nearly finished with "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn". Great book. Very thought provoking. It is taking me longer than it normally would to read this book because of everything else going on around here. But I really like it. I may even read it over again before I take it back to the library.

My quotes from the book for today:

"I am old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise;
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others.
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse, and stuff'd with the stuff that is fine."

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere--be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'"

It started me thinking about how much I value this life I have been given. Do I really live each moment, each day, to the fullest. Do I know myself? Am I true to myself? Do I appreciate how wonderful it is just to be alive? Am I doing with my time what I really want to be doing? Am I seeking out the things I need and want and hope for within the hours of each day? Am I being "something every hour of my life"? Am I making sure that "not one little piece of living is ever lost."

Perhaps there is more to be found in the bounds of my chosen life. Perhaps I can be more than I have allowed myself to become. Perhaps I will discover new "somethings" in me. Perhaps I will want to change or replace a few "somethings" in me. It's up to me.