"Keeping Christmas" by Henry van Dyke

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons when men agree to stop work and make merry together is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity.
But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is keeping Christmas.
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background and your duties in the middle distance and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open -- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
And if you keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.

Someone handed this essay to me today. It really touched me. I agree with him. I've always believed things change one person, one act, one day at a time.
I intend to keep his thoughts in mind as I set my goals for the new year. I want to keep Christmas always.

Our "Only Child"

My daughter Mariah is 15.

For the last few months she has been the only child in our home. She loves it. She has her own big bed in her own big room filled with plenty of gadgets, lots of clothes, and a massive pile of shoes. She doesn't have to fight for time in the bathroom or possession of the remote control. She doesn't have to look for her clothes in someone else's closet or hide her favorite things from eager thieves. She enjoys a great amount of privacy and few unexpected interruptions.

Mariah is learning to drive. She practiced quite a bit with our mini truck in the motel parking lot, studied up on the driver's manual, passed her written exam and has been driving with a learner's permit for six months. She's taken me as far as Soda Spring, Idaho and Logan, Utah and even most of several trips to Utah County. She's doing really well. She is calm and alert when she drives and takes direction well. Six more months and I'm sure she will willingly take over the errand running that I will willingly turn over to her.

My recent parent/teacher conferences confirmed to me that Mariah is a great student. She is a conscientious, practical learner. Her teachers like her. One even said, and I quote, "I wish I had a whole classroom of Mariahs." Though straight A's like hers are not unusual in our family, Mariah's grades reflect one quite unique trait. She actually usually does assignments when they are given, instead of procrastinating until the day they are due.

Mariah likes to sing. This year she is in the high school choir and a performing group of only nine students called Celebration. Her director has her sing soprano with the choir and alto with Celebration. This has been a good opportunity for her to stretch her natural musical abilities as well as improve her stage presence.

Though I never expected it, Mariah became a cheerleader last year and again this year. Cheer leading is a sport that requires strength, flexibility, rhythmn, teamwork, and massive amounts of time. The squad gives immeasurable amounts of service and support to all the other teams, receiving little recognition in return. But Mariah has learned a lot in terms of her own capabilities and self confidence. She's discovered that she can do round offs and stunts and dance moves with style. She's had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

Seth, Mariah and I have been working on a fitness program for six weeks now, "Body for Life". Mariah has been remarkably dedicated and consistent. She is keeping me on track with the weight lifting and aerobic end of the program and I've been helping her with the food end. We're learning together and feeling pretty good in the process.

Mariah is a great gal. I think we'll keep her. We may never let her leave.

"Loving What Is"

I've been reading a book by Byron Katie, "Loving What Is". My sister Dede suggested it to me. While I won't go into the details of what she calls "The Work", I would like to share a few quotations from the book that struck a chord with me.

"I wasn't always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn't so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we're all doing the best we can. This is how a lifetime of humility begins."

"For some of us, life is controlled by our thoughts about work and money. But if our thinking is clear, how could work or money be the problem? Our thinking is all we need to change. It's all we can change. This is very good news."

"Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we've found success, we'll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we'll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion...Without a story, we're successful wherever we are."

"Everything happens for me, not to me."

"You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer."

"Self-realization is the sweetest thing. It shows us how we are fully responsible for ourselves, and that is where we find our freedom. Rather than being other-realized, you can be self-realized. Instead of looking to others for your fulfillment, you can find it in yourself."

"Just keep coming home to yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for."

I found lots of thoughtful information in the book. I look forward to examining my thoughts with Katie's four questions. Though I don't agree all her ideas, I think there is much joy to be found with her methods and peace in "Loving What Is".

QUIET

"Take some time...each day to have a quiet hour,...an hour of prayerful meditation where you can tune in with God and discuss with Him problems that are too much for human understanding, too great for human strength." (Harold B. Lee)

I love quiet.
I remember when I was first married and filled all my time with noise: conversation, telephone, TV, radio, records, cassette tapes, etc. Even when I was alone in the house, I was surrounded with sound. I rarely got into the car without turning on the radio. I don't think I ever even did the dishes or weeded the garden or picked cherries without a radio tuned to a favorite station.
Then I became a mother...one, two....seven. For years I was never alone and it was never quiet. Don't get me wrong--they were busy, happy, wonderful, joyful years. I don't regret any of it! Somewhere along the way I turned off the music, the talk, the TV and discovered QUIET. Quiet became a welcome escape, a treasured commodity, a source of peace and comfort and strength. I learned to seek it out, to plan it into my day and to take advantage of each moment. I learned to listen in the quiet--to really hear my own thoughts. I learned to be still and hear promptings of the Spirit. It was in the quiet that I could best understand myself, my needs and desires, my fears and disappointments, my goals and aspirations.
And so it is today. I still love the noise--the chaos of family, the music, the laughter, the familiar voices, the sounds of nature and human life. But I will always treasure the quiet moments, however brief. It is in those quiet moments that I find renewal, understanding and peace.

"Take time to meditate...Don't get so busy that you don't have time...Take the time."
(Harold B. Lee)

Selective Memory

"I think the secret to a happy life is a selective memory. Remember what
you're most grateful for and quickly forget what you're not."
Grace by Richard Paul Evans

...Great advice from a little book I read this week...
Funny, because I've always said that I have selective memory--I only remember what I want to remember (and maybe a little less). I've come to see that I really am happier if I leave behind those things that make me stressed, worried, angry and sad. I don't mean forget like never examine and learn from it, or like ignore it if I should be doing something about it, or pretending it never happened. I mean face it, deal with it if need be, and let it go.
Sometimes it is harder than others to forget or let go. Sometimes I hang on to STUFF and let it take up my time and energy so long that I allow myself to twist it around or change it into something it wasn't at the start. I allow it to change me into someone I don't really want to be. Sometimes I compare myself to others I see as "smarter" or "prettier" or "better". Sometimes I ignore my good traits, thinking only of my mistakes and failures. Sometimes I stomp on myself for not being perfect. Sometimes I forget to be grateful for all that is right and good and happy in my life. But when I choose to accept myself for who I am and feel gratitude for who I am (strengths and weaknesses together), I am most happy.
This week I have had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, for family, for friends, for freedom, for peace, for faith, for love, for hope and for a selective memory. I have a happy life. I am so blessed.

Count Your Blessings

I love Thanksgiving.
It is the only holiday that hasn't been commercialized and blown up into something beyond what was initially intended. It is a day to gather together to celebrate the harvest, the earth's bounty. It is a time to reflect on gifts and blessings. large and small, that have enriched our lives. It is a day to recognize where all these wonderful things come from and give thanks.
So today I am counting my blessings. I have so many.
I am thankful for life itself; what a precious gift.
I am thankful for a loving husband--a ruggedly handsome, cheerful, active, wise, capable, strong, giving, funny, thoughtful, handy guy!
I am thankful for GREAT kids who are fast becoming my closest friends and teachers as much as my children.
I am thankful for their husbands and wives who have added so much to our close circle of family.
I am thankful for wonderful grandkids--each one expanding my heart and bringing so much joy.
I am thankful for parents who taught me well and gave me a home, direction, a good work ethic and encouragement.
I am thankful for brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins--what a family I have!
I am thankful for good friends, some I'm sure I've known forever.
I am thankful for good health and a strong body, to be able to feel and see and hear and smell and taste.
I am thankful for Dr Simmeon's hcg protocol that has helped me to regain control of my body!
I am thankful for the earth--it's majesty, beauty and variety.
I am thankful I live in a community, state and country that allow me to live the life I choose.
I am thankful for my Father in Heaven, his son and my savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.
I am thankful for their plan of happiness--it brings me hope, faith, peace and joy.
I am thankful. I have so much.

"Everything is Illuminated"

The other day I watched "Everything is Illuminated". I found it to be an unusual, slow-paced, somewhat bizarre, but oddly enjoyable film. It is about a young man who collects things--family things. Before his grandmother's death she gives him a photograph and the movie shows his search to understand the photo.
Toward the end of the story, one of the characters comments: "Everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always on the side of us....on the inside looking out. In this way, I will always be on the side of you and you on the side of me, our families and our families' families."
It brought my thoughts back to some family history work that I've done in the last few years. I spent many hours searching out the names and faces of my family--my very extensive family. I found lots of names, dates and records, but my favorite thing was photographs. Looking into the faces of these "strangers" who are my family, I found so much that was familiar. In their eyes, I saw myself--in more ways than one! The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned, the more I understood. The more I understood, the more I wanted to accept and embrace. The more I accepted, the more I came to love.
It is true that we are each unique; there is no one just like us. But in this big universe, we are blessed to have family--others who share physical appearance, personality traits, history and blood. They will "always be on the side of you and you on the side of (them)."
And the more we understand, accept and love each other, the happier we will all be. So I hope to learn more about my family--those who have gone before and those who are still around. I think it is true that "everything is illuminated in the light of the past".

Happiness

I finished reading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" this week and am feeling very grateful for the experience. There were so many little truths, so many real insights into life. I recommend it to everyone. Read it thoughtfully.........and count your blessings.

A few more quotes:

" ' You'll never raise that one,' they told her, 'Her color ain't good. If the good Lord takes her, it will be for the best. What good is a sickly baby in a poor family? There is too many children on this earth already and no room for the weak ones.'
'Don't say that,' Katie held her baby tightly. 'It's not better to die. Who wants to die? Everything struggles to live. Look at that tree growing up there out of that grating. It gets no sun, and water only when it rains. It's growing out of sour earth. And it's strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong. My children will be strong that way.' "

"She looked down into the yard. The tree whose leaf umbrellas had curled around, under and over her fire escape had been cut down because the housewives complained that wash on the lines got entangled in its branches. The landlord had sent two men and they had chopped it down.
But the tree hadn't died..it hadn't died.
A new tree had grown from the stump and its trunk had grown along the ground until it reached a place where there were no wash lines above it. Then it had started to grow towards the sky again.
It had lived! And nothing could destroy it."

" 'People always think that happiness is a faraway thing,' thought Francie, 'something complicated and hard to get. Yet, what little things can make it up; a place of shelter when it rains--a cup of strong hot coffee when you're blue; for a man, a cigarette for contentment; a book to read when you're alone--just to be with someone you love. Those things make happiness.' "

So today I am feeling grateful for the struggles in my life. They have made me strong. And, again today, I choose to be happy. I am so blessed.

"Let me be SOMETHING..."

I'm nearly finished with "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn". Great book. Very thought provoking. It is taking me longer than it normally would to read this book because of everything else going on around here. But I really like it. I may even read it over again before I take it back to the library.

My quotes from the book for today:

"I am old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise;
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others.
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse, and stuff'd with the stuff that is fine."

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere--be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'"

It started me thinking about how much I value this life I have been given. Do I really live each moment, each day, to the fullest. Do I know myself? Am I true to myself? Do I appreciate how wonderful it is just to be alive? Am I doing with my time what I really want to be doing? Am I seeking out the things I need and want and hope for within the hours of each day? Am I being "something every hour of my life"? Am I making sure that "not one little piece of living is ever lost."

Perhaps there is more to be found in the bounds of my chosen life. Perhaps I can be more than I have allowed myself to become. Perhaps I will discover new "somethings" in me. Perhaps I will want to change or replace a few "somethings" in me. It's up to me.

Truth vs the Story

A few days ago our city librarian asked me to read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and then lead a discussion for the local book club. I was a bit surprised that she approached me. Why me? I'm not even a member of the club. I'm not particularly well versed in the classics. I have no real education in literature. But, as most of you know, I do love books--all kinds of books--and I decided to accept the opportunity. I'm so glad I did. I'm only about a third of the way through and I am delighting in the experience.

One part that I really liked:
"I'll not punish you for having an imagination."
Gently, Teacher explained the difference between a lie and a story. A lie was something you told because you were mean or a coward. A story was something you made up out of something that might have happened. Only you didn't tell it like it was; you told it like you thought it should have been...........
"You know, Francie, a lot of people would think that these stories that you're making up all the time were terrible lies because they are not the truth as people see the truth. In the future, when something comes up, you tell exactly how it happened but write down for yourself the way you think it should have happened. Tell the truth and write the story. Then you won't get mixed up."
It was the best advice Francie ever got. Truth and fancy were so mixed up in her mind--as they are in the mind of every lonely child--that she didn't know which was which.......
If she had not found this outlet in writing, she might have grown up to be a tremendous liar.

I really got thinking about all the wonderful fiction that we would be missing, if others like Francie had only told the truth and never written the story. And think of all the truths that we learn from stories that are not necessarily true. I believe in being honest, in telling the truth. But I am grateful for the talented others who can so wonderfully share the stories.
What would life be without books.

I'm sure there will be more from this book to share later. I have a couple more weeks to finish reading before the review meeting.

Volunteers

Saturday night I attended a Bear Lake Memorial Hospital Foundation banquet in Montpelier, Idaho. A friend had asked me to sing following the dinner, before the report and awards were given. It was a lovely affair. I brought Seth along to enjoy the food and music. We were surprised at how interesting and heart warming the evening was. It is quite amazing how many hours of volunteer work are donated each year to keep the hospital running. Thousands of dollars are raised and donated, too. I couldn't help but think of Dede's time at LDS Hospital and Sue's with the Susan B Komen Foundation. I'm sure you could tell hundreds of stories about the amazing volunteer work that goes on in those organizations.
They also recognized two women that had been long time hospital volunteers. One woman continues to serve countless hours each month and her family was there to cheer her on. The other was an older woman who died this last year and her family had set up a scholarship for students from Montpelier in the health care field. An interesting little side note: I chose to sing two Broadway pieces and the whole room erupted into smiles and applause and then tears before I was even finished. (I thought, wow, I didn't know I was that good.) It wasn't until towards the end of the evening that the hospital administrator asked if I had known the woman who died. He then proceeded to explain that she was a "Broadway Babe" and was always singing for this and that and "would have LOVED my two songs and probably would have joined in"!
So, anyway, I can't help but ponder on what our world would be like if there were not people willing to share what they have--time, money, enthusiasm, talents, love, willingness, encouragement--to help others around them. I know I'm grateful and will be more aware now of all the volunteering that goes on around me and more willing to get out there and do my share.

So now I'm a blogger...

Saturday Ben and Heidi and the kids came up for a visit. It's so nice to have them close enough to do that! While Ben was here he set up the beginnings of this blog for me. And, while I'm not really too proficient at computer stuff, I decided that this was within my reach...and was something I could do...and was something I wanted to do. So if you are reading this then you will know that I have at least figured out the basics and will now begin some sort of journal/thought book/idea storage/news letter in a blog of my own. I'm not sure how often or how much I will write yet. But I believe this will be a great new outlet for me. I look forward to more later...........

Ben made me do this!

Here is a trial run.